Friday, January 16, 2015


Top New York  nip, tuck and  stitch  expert  gowns up  for lip  job on PM. With him is comely Hollywood  nurse , Cuddles.  

CANBERRA : A  top American cosmetic  surgeon  who fills up the cracks and crannies  of  Hollywood B grade movie stars and monsters has been flown in to secretly stitch up the lips  of  PM  Tony Abbott in a drastic bid to improve his ratings.

Several commentators, including one on the ABC Insiders , said Tony Abbott  should   never   be  left  alone in control of his own  mouth .   Witness  the  stunned  mullet  expressions  on the world leaders at the expensive  Brisbane  G20  gabfest when he  bleated about  his  domestic problems, piddling  affairs  on  a global perspective .   Recently  he  followed  up with  his  funny , heh, heh , wink , wink , announcement  that  the only thing he was good at in  cricket  was  in the art  of  sledging . This  skill???  was super evident  throughout  his time as  Leader  of  the  Opposition ,  continues  with  bodyliners  and  repetitious slogans   today , chanted  by  his  locker  room  mates.  

Just  last week  the  PM caused the  LNP Funk Bunker in Brisbane  to echo to the screams of  Campbell  Newman mugwumps  when  he  came out  and firmly  said  GPs  would  be  hit  with  a   pay cut .  A  seasoned  political reporter  said   the  blood curdling  screams from the LNP  campaign room  sounded  like  poor jungle  animals  caught in a  cruel,steel  bear trap  after hearing the PM mouth  off.  Once again there was  a  strong  call from  within  the Coalition  for  the  PM  to shut  his trap .

Within hours , the Federal Health Minister , Sussan Ley ,  rushed  out ,did a double backflip with tuck, and  said  the PM  was  wrong ,  there would be no  attack on GPs...not until  after  the  Queensland quickie  election.