Australia's top secret inflatable Johnston Class attack submarine is shown being shadowed by a nuclear powered Chinese spy vessel cunningly disguised as a barnacle encrusted , plastic Toys-R-Us sailing smack . Due to a security D (Cup) Notice we cannot let it be known that the sub is moored off Townsville and that Magnetic Island is in the background. Latest reports indicate the Chinese have already gathered secret information on Australia's expensive proposed F-35 Joint Strike Fighter ,nicknamed The Bankruptcy Maker , and captured wiring plans for the billion dollar ASIO headquarters in Canberra, making it now only available for unwashed backpacker accommodation and full moon parties. Because the Townsville media does not contain one shipping reporter , the fact that the shiny submarine and the Chinese spy vessel are in port has gone unreported. Only one-eyed Cyclops has obtained this scoop and the sure Walkley Award winning yarn about the Loch Ness Monster taking refuge in Townsville.