CANBERRA : Back from sleep inducing Kiwiland , PM Tony Abbott today announced sweeping changes in his Comic Opera Office. Loyal Peta Credlin will be given a new post as Australia’s new pro consul in the Kiwi capital , Windy Wellington. Thanks to a secret donation by a prominent multinational company which pays bugger all tax in Australia ,despite sales of billions , the top comedy team , the Marx Brothers , will be flown in from the US to handle PR and get the nation laughing instead of being uptight, vengeful and after Tony's vitals, including his heh,heh tonsils. The Marx Brothers are delighted to be coming Down Under and will bring a gift box of illegal Cuban cigars for Joe and Mathias.
They wonder if there are any clubs apart from the seedy journos' watering hole in Canberra which will give them membership .
Rumour has it that a shock jock who has undergone a major nip and tuck and a Warnie hair job will become the new chief of the Liberal Party Funk Bunker where Kitty Carlisle will be the singing tea lady .
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Meanwhile Foreign Minister and renowned wild west celebrity dancer, Julie Bishop, has hotly denied that she nodded off listening to the PM while she was counting likely numbers in the next Liberal spill. "I was counting sheep, New Zealand is overrun by those woolly things, and that is what put me to sleep," she said , glaring at a reporter as if he were a wolf in sheep's clothing , an Insider beast .