Saturday, January 5, 2019

PM'S SECRET AIR PLAN REVEALED

After the abject  failure of  his  phoney bus  tour of  Queensland last year , taipan oil salesman  Scott  Morrison  has been inspired  by the  air  adventures of  Biggles  and  will  take to  the  sky during the  looming election campaign in a hot air balloon . Wearing an oldtime  flying helmet  and goggles   from  the  early days of aviation  , he will tour  North Australia  in a  war surplus  dirigible , named  Hindenburg ll,  above, being  prepared in  a secret hangar  at  Bond Unversity in Queensland .

 From the  VIP saloon basket , woven by Kingaroy  CWA members during extensive  gin and  scone  working  sessions   , slung underneath, Scomo  will swoop down  out of climate change induced  duststorms and bushfires  and  through  a  loud hailer   urge  startled  Bananalanders  to eat  so many meat  pies they end up looking like Billy Bunter, gorge themselves  on strawberries until they break out in an unsightly rash , vote for the  manly Coalition  and  move their  funds to the  Cayman islands   just  in  case  Shorten   wins  the  election .