Throwing mud , the dredge , Brisbane , above, represents the Abbott Government after losing the Griffith by-election. On election night, Queensland Senator George Brandis , Q.C., the Attorney-General no less, a handy man to help steer a bumboat because of his skill at detecting rodents abandoning ship after striking the Barrier Reef , seemed jubilant that the ALP had won !!! What ??? Yes, he trumpeted, the ALP had won, but the absolutely fantastic Liberal National Party candidate, who lost yet again, had taken votes off the Opposition . It was a performance which outdid that of Kevin Rudd on election night last September . The senator's rosy view of the election outcome indicated he may need to see an ophthalmologist.
Bemused viewers wondered if he had been into the Caribbean tonsil tickler or was suffering from sunstroke. When , like a pirate’s parrot , he went on about “Electricity Bill Shorten”, loyal supporters started to abandon ship , despite the free grog. Is this the Pirate Party candidate or the funny Bullet Train For Australia man? nursing home residents all over the nation asked, before being given a nice cup of hot , co-investment Cadbury chocolate from Tasmania and put to bed .
The Abbott ship of state is undoubtedly heading for more rocks once the newspaper polls start running like bomboras . Already there has been mutiny in the ranks over the performance of the skipper and his petty officers. Down in the bilges , the scurvy Nationals seem to be mumbling dissent , but it is hard to interpret what Barnaby is saying in English or algorithms , as shown on Q and A . (God bless the ABC) .
One first mate only keeps his job because it is said he is such a blowhard he fills the sails with ease , highly desirable when you are in the political doldrums and inept ministers persist in shooting an albatross a day. BURNING DECK VERSIONS : There are , of course, variants of the boy standing on the burning deck, some of them crude , rude. The Spike Milligan one about the lad playing cricket and a ball bouncing up his trouser leg would appeal to the current cricket mad nation. Then there is the one about the grotty boy picking his nose ; another youngster had a nasty experience with crackers. Expect fireworks when parliament resumes .