Stirring days ahead in new jobs outlook..
An Abbott Government Employment Shrink Tank is working on a brilliant , secret scheme to convert all car factories into value added elephant dung processing plants. Leaked documents reveal that the Sri Lankan military regime will use the rusting naval patrol boats Australia gave it to run supplies of raw elephant dung to Melbourne and Adelaide car plants to be converted into a range of products , including edible , imitation, chocolate- flavoured jerky for unemployed workers .
Along the way to and from Australia , the Sri Lankan gunboats will sink refugee boats filled with Tamils ... a beaut win - win situation in economic and Operation Sovereign Borders outcomes, even if a gross crime against humanity .
A Toyota worker, with a sinking feeling , this morning said the weird jumbo dung proposal by the Abbott mugwumps explained why large vats and long stirring spoons from a popular TV cookery series had been delivered to the factory during the night . He expects the Abbott Government Circus ringmasters will deliver a whole herd of elephants any day soon.