A gigantic
plague of weasels is responsible for the mysterious disappearance of the Bowen
Big Mango. The recent
rain and by-elections led
to an explosion of the
weasel population. Many
Queenslanders complained they
could hardly hear
themselves think because of deafening
weasel words filling the
air , day and night, even
on TV and radio . Weasels breed like rabbits
and are worse than a combined
mouse and grasshopper plague . They
gnaw through anything
that they come across , including the brain cells of
voters. When the
tourist attraction disappeared, Bowen locals , naturally ,
blamed danged Greenies who oppose
proposed new super duper coal
loading facilities and the
dumping of harmless dredged up
sludge on the Great
Barrier Reef . However, vast amounts
of weasel scats have been
found around the Big Mango
site proving beyond doubt that
they are responsible for its disappearance .
Police have discounted a
report the mango, covered in tattoos , was seen
hidden under a tarpaulin
in the sidecar of a motorbike heading for
a Shepparton cannery or a Victorian bikie clubhouse .