HIRSUTE HANSON HORROR

 

There are  growing signs that  Pauline Hanson  has pulled out of the election   campaign  not because she  is   suffering from Covid   but due to  a    rare  wombat  disease   she   caught  while  taking  part  in  a  campdrafting  event  at  a Scenic  Rim    rodeo .

It just so happens that  the  poor critter she  rode, above, with spurs,  is of the  hairy- nosed  species .  

Humans who  catch the  wombat  disease overnight   develop massive body hair ,especially  extreme under   armpits,  the chest  and   nostrils, according  to  a  leading celebrity  vet.  Their  noses, he  added,   swell  up  so much they  give  the  repulsive  appearance of  a  giant  overcooked  battered   saveloy.  

Turning up at polling booths on Saturday looking like a cross between  a bearded lady and  an extinct Mammoth  would  scare  the daylights out of   voters, so she has gone  into  quarantine, and  will  later  recuperate  in  a Malaysian  hideaway  suggested  by  barber- starver   George  Christensen . 

Top  political reporter, Argus  Tuft, today    revealed   Ms Hanson has been  seen carrying   an  industrial   Lady Sunbeam  which  is  normally   used  to  shear  woolly pet   Lamas..