Wednesday, March 11, 2020

FBI TO HELP AUSTRALIAN FEDERAL POLICE CARRY OUT NUMEROUS POLITICAL INVESTIGATIONS

WASHINGTON: In a  fine gesture, the  famous Federal Bureau of Investigation is sending the stretched Australian Federal  Police  a  Junior G-Man Kit  to  help  it  resume  the  investigation   into   the   fake  letter  sent from  Energy Minister  Angus Taylor's office  to the  Daily Telegraph which falsely  claimed  Sydney City  Council mayor  Clover Moore   had spent an absolute motza  on  overseas travel . 
Astoundingly , the AFP  did not  interview Taylor  and others who might be able to throw light on the outrage . This   failure stunned the  FBI , so it decided to send the  AFP a  Junior G-Man Kit  in  a   J. Edgar Hoover  gift  pack .

These  kits , endorsed  by  FBI agent  Melvin Purvis,  who brought  John Dillinger and  Pretty Boy Floyd  to justice,  were  distributed  in  vast numbers to  patriotic American boys who  became  operatives  to  help  detect subversives and  also  support  crime  fighters.

An  FBI spokesman said the average teenage  American Junior G-Man  , suffering from  acne ,  following the manual  in  the  kit , would automatically have interviewed  Minister Taylor   to  crack  the  case .  He  said the G-Man kit would   help  the  AFP reopen   the   investigation . It would  also  be handy in  any inquiry  into  the   sportsrort  slush fund  caretaker  mode  phantom  creative letter  writing .  
The invaluable kit has a chapter on how to deal with  troublesome journalists which includes a rubber truncheon for use in soundproof  interview rooms .  It warns  some   journalists  hide   state  secrets in  their  Gorgeous Gussies .