There are alarming reports that the Chinese plan to capture Darwin's highly lucrative fireworks market.
On July 1 of each year the troppo residents of the Northern Territory capital celebrate Self Government during which the city is rocked by megaton explosions, dogs are driven mad and run away to Alice Springs , letter boxes are blown up, backyard trees are ignited by showers of spent falling rockets, firemen are kept busy as are staff at the Royal Darwin Hospital .
As a special treat a massive, floating fireworks display is staged at Mindil Beach which , like annual fireworks on Sydney Harbour Bridge, fills surrounding waters with toxic heavy metals and threatens the playful bunyips swimming in the briny .
It has been traditional for bikies , local and interstate, to rent empty shops and sell vast amounts of fireworks in the build up to the big day , one which causes the sane part of the community to flee in a fleet of jumbo jets to escape the grand cultural event .
Now there are reports that the enterprising Chinese , who have taken over running the port of Darwin , plan to cash in the fireworks. This blog's shipping reporter has been secretly informed that a fleet of Chinese junks will come to Darwin loaded to the gunnels with cheap Red fireworks and force Bikie Bill and his CFMEU mates out of the market .
In an exclusive interview outside Darwin's Chinese temple with Andrew Robb , left , Australia's former illustrious trade minister, who has taken up a highly paid position with the Chinese company that has a 99-year lease on the port , he refused to deny or confirm the big bang theory .
|Fizzer or bang?|
He implied that this blog is crackers and that any suggestion that the Chinese plan to corner the NT fireworks market , like Bunker Hunt tried with silver , is a real fizzer. Naturally, the Northern Territory News is delighted at any suggestion that the Chinese might enter the local fireworks scene .They look forward to the day when they can run an in depth story headed WHY I PUT A CHINESE CRACKER UP MY CLACKER .