CHINESE TO MUSCLE IN ON DARWIN'S CRACKER UP THE CLACKER MARKET ?

There are  alarming  reports  that  the Chinese  plan to  capture  Darwin's  highly  lucrative fireworks  market.

On  July  1   of  each year  the troppo  residents of   the   Northern Territory capital  celebrate   Self  Government  during which  the  city is rocked by megaton explosions, dogs  are  driven mad  and  run away to Alice Springs  , letter  boxes are  blown up, backyard  trees  are ignited  by  showers of spent  falling rockets,  firemen are kept  busy  as  are   staff  at  the Royal  Darwin  Hospital .

As a special treat  a massive, floating fireworks  display is staged   at   Mindil Beach  which , like annual fireworks  on Sydney Harbour Bridge,  fills  surrounding waters  with  toxic  heavy metals and  threatens  the   playful  bunyips  swimming  in  the  briny .

It has  been traditional  for  bikies , local and interstate, to   rent   empty  shops and  sell  vast  amounts of   fireworks  in  the build up to the big day , one  which  causes    the  sane  part of  the community  to flee in  a fleet of  jumbo jets to escape  the  grand  cultural event . 

Now there are  reports that the  enterprising Chinese , who have taken over  running  the  port  of  Darwin , plan to cash  in  the fireworks. This blog's shipping reporter  has  been secretly   informed  that a   fleet  of Chinese junks will  come to  Darwin loaded to the  gunnels  with  cheap  Red   fireworks  and   force  Bikie  Bill  and  his  CFMEU  mates  out  of   the  market .

 



Fizzer or  bang?

 In  an exclusive interview  outside  Darwin's Chinese temple  with  Andrew  Robb  , left ,  Australia's  former  illustrious  trade minister, who  has  taken up a  highly paid position with the Chinese company that has  a  99-year  lease on the  port , he  refused to deny or confirm   the  big  bang  theory .

 He implied that  this blog is crackers and  that  any suggestion that the   Chinese plan to  corner  the  NT fireworks  market , like Bunker Hunt  tried with  silver  , is a  real fizzer. Naturally, the  Northern Territory News    is delighted  at any suggestion  that  the  Chinese  might  enter the local  fireworks scene .They  look   forward to the day when they  can  run  an in depth  story headed  WHY  I  PUT A  CHINESE  CRACKER  UP  MY CLACKER .