Thursday, November 10, 2016


Turnbull  Government  is  fanning  out  across  the  nation  to "speak bush."-Puzzling media reports.

Speaking  in   tongues  , which    causes  his own  side  to  giggle  nervously, Barnaby Joyce, left,  holding a  bush media  conference  in  which  he  kept on pointing  at  individual  reporters  , calling their  name  over and  over , and  urging  them  to ask  a  question .  One harassed  scribe described   the  experience  as  being  subjected   to   combined  Chinese  water  torture  and   wrist  burning .
CANBERRRA : The  Turnbull government  has  developed  a  cunning  new  language to baffle Chinese   hackers  who  have  so far  stolen all of  Australia's  secrets , run the  greasy spoon  café in the  new billion dollar  ASIO  headquarters  and  plan  to  fill the nation's  Vaseline  jars with  sand  sucked   up  from the South China  Sea, this latest dastardly act  greatly  limiting  the  population  or  perish defence  plan  as  outlined  by  Peter  Costello .

The new baffling language  is BUSH , acronym for Barnaby Utterly Stupefies   Han (Dynasty)  .  It  has been  inspired by the strange utterances of Deputy Prime Minister (God help us, not  New Zealand   !) , Barnaby Joyce , in which he uses algorithms , a  version of  the  rhythm  method ,  astronomical sums of money  which   he  likes to  express  as  hundreds  or  thousands  of  millions , including  a   warning    about  cracks  in the Hoover  Dam ,  frequently mentioning  a mysterious  person  called  Bill the Dill , apparently one of the local yokels , a tirade  which completely and utterly baffles  any audience , especially   those  fiendish  Oriental   eavesdroppers after  our   absolutely  brilliant plans to make a giant  leap forward  in  the hop , step and  jump event at the forthcoming  Commonwealth  Games  in  Queensland  when trains will  be running on time throughout  the  state, thanks  to  Benito  Mussolini .