Thursday, November 24, 2016


CANBERRA : Astonished  Revenue and  Financial Services Minister  Kelly O'Dwyer  , above , recently   caught informing  a  slack media pack   that  the  Australian Labor Party has  more positions than the Kama Sutra. This  sensational  revelation  caused major world  publishing  houses  to  rush in and  make   fabulous  offers to the  ALP    for  the right to produce  a  highly illustrated  book   on  the subject for  the Christmas   market . There are  predictions  sales of  the  book will   be  astronomical , bigger   even than   the   total  income from   all   the  Harry  Potter novels  and  movies .
This  stunning  information about the  raunchy  ALP comes  at a time  when there has been a   furious  and concerted   campaign  by  the Coalition, caught short on so many issues,  to  belittle Leader of  the Opposition  Bill Shorten . Now  there  are predictions that after the  ALP  Kama  Sutra  whopper   is  published  and  slipped into  many  Chrissy stockings throughout the globe , hairy chested Shorten  will  change his  name  to   Longfellow ,  after  the   romantic  Yank   poet .
Thumbs up 
With his intimate  knowledge of the innovative positions held by the ALP  over the decades, former PM  Bob Hawke will contribute a breathtaking  introduction , complete  with  many  footnotes,  to  the  1000 page  glossy coffee  table  book .
It is understood Rupert  Murdoch , with vast book publishing interests ,  put a  lucrative  proposition to  the  ALP   in  which  his  pensioned off  P3 girls , masked,  would  be rehired  for  guest  appearances  throughout  a  3D  encyclopedia , bound  in  tooled  leather , with  a   green  and  gold  of  Oz   cover sheet .  Right now  there  is  a feeling  of  good  vibrations  in  the  ALP  while the Coalition obviously has  a  flat  battery  with  badly  corroded terminals.