Shipping Reporter Overcooked Scoop
Our waterfront roundsman , the only one in North Australia , has been ordered to have an eye test after he claimed the mysterious mutilated mermaid on Magnetic Island now has a giant asparagus growing out of her navel !!!
To back up his preposterous claim , he produced the above photograph . At first glance, it did appear that she was indeed sporting a large, tasty , green asparagus shoot from that beauty spot .
However, when the remains of her torso were forensically examined with a made in China Sherlock Holmes magnifying glass, it was found to be an optical illusion , part of her vital statistics not yet maltreated or ripped off by some twisted ratfink.
The observant Shipping Reporter previously revealed that the mermaid's arms, then her head , without the sleepy mainland media noticing , were torn off , sticks jabbed in the armholes.
