Prompt action by our waterfront roundsman saved the life of this terribly emaciated Kraken found washed up on Magnetic Island .The moaning creature was transported by resident smugglers to the Magnetic Island Public School swimming pool where it is recovering , fed tasty bouillabaisse by kind staff from the nearby French restaurant . The Shipping Reporter has made arrangements for the Kraken to be taken aboard HMAS Adelaide, now in Townsville, its crew locked in , unable to paint the town , and shipped to Taronga Zoo , Sydney, where it will be mated with the Kraken sacked from Mad As Hell due to the slashing of government funding for the ABC. A few days later the power to Nelly Bay went off briefly before 6am and the Shipping Reporter suggested another crook Kraken had wrapped itself around the underwater cable from the mainland.
