Much masticating in the mangroves ?
Alarming reports are flooding into Queensland wildlife rangers that a man armed with a razor sharp sickle and camouflaged to look like jungle vegetation is creeping about billabongs attacking crocodiles .
The following exclusive photograph of the frightening mad hatter , on the right , running away from a savage attack on a slumbering saurian , was given to Little Darwin by a shocked bushwalker who stumbled upon the grisly scene
The head of the NQ Crocodile Homicide Squad , Detective Harry Messel , today said he would not be surprised if the weird person responsible for the war against crocs is motivated by statements made by gun-toting , cowboy hat wearing Queensland politician , Bob Katter ,78 , that one of his constituents is masticated by a croc every three months, and that they should be culled .
The highly responsible ABC quickly did a mastication fact check ,with Ita's approval , and declared it a wild claim .
However, the BBC and other British media outlets ran Katter's statement about mastication Down Under and that is why timid young Pommie backpackers are scared to come to Oz and pick fruit . One publication even said people were regularly being eaten and ripped to pieces by crocodiles in Australia , which caused the tourist industry to tank.
 |
| Katter dressed up for Canberra Press Gallery Ball |
Expect more exclusive , non-fake mastication updates from this blog .
