Thursday, January 30, 2020

ARTHRITIC MONSOON ON THE WAY

Shipping Reporter's weather forecast

Our  waterfront scribe , the only one  in North Australia , is convinced that we are in  for a  bumper  wet season , based  on   strange encounters  with   frogs .
 
While about to hit the sack on a wet  night  , he checked to see if  the tube of horse liniment  for his  troublesome  , musical  knees  was  on the ledge at the  back of   the bed. Reaching for the soothing  tube, he received a  start - a frog was peering  enviously  through the window at the liniment ! Do  frogs suffer from rheumatoid arthritis ? All that frog kicking in cold  ponds  probably plays havoc with your joints . The  liniment is the same  kind  endorsed and used  by  the Queen of  the Jungle . 
Then  the  frog proceeded to climb  about the  window  like a  drunken sailor, making its way  up to the  roof . An indication that  there was  going to be one  helluva   downpour overnight ? 
 
The  reporter decided to  check the  backyard  and all the utensils catching   rainwater  before  hopping back into bed . As he came in  the kitchen door  he caught sight out of  the corner of  his wonky eye of what he thought was a cockroach , and was about to give it a painful  karate chop , when he realised it was another frog. 
 
It  was rapidly climbing up the  wall - another indication of looming  inundation ? The next day  , after heavy overnight   rain , the Shipping Reporter  again  exposed  part of his body , this time his   odd knees,  at the Townsville University Hospital for  x-rays . Despite the damage done to him  by having been impaled  by  the tusk of  an enraged  narwhale  many years ago , off Greenland , his  legs were  found  to  be  okay .
 
Frogs , he said , continued  to come at him  from many angles-in an op shop on Magnetic Island there  was a framed picture of one  on a toilet bowl ; from Darwin came  an   email  with  a  picture of  two rude  green tree  frogs.
 
 Because of  the many  bizarre  stories he  writes, we suspect he  has water  on  the brain,