WARNING : Make sure you are wearing an incontinence pad before reading this post as it could result in an involuntary discharge of fluids as you giggle.
The Magpie , in his latest entertaining weekly wicked website , pointed out some Townsville Bulletin clangers . One related to a report in the Murdoch paper about the Paranormal Investigators Townsville declaring that the city is apparently awash with ghosts, including pubs and a Big W store . Strangely, it seems Bunnings does not attract ghosts ,just do it yourself weirdos . It included a photograph of the paranormal team , two woman , but one bore the name of a man .
The Magpie, aka former Townsville Bulletin reporter Malcolm Weatherup, drawing attention to this error , recalled two investigators , in August 2017 , correctly identified as a woman and a man , his name wrongly attributed to a woman in the latest spooky story . In that earlier report , the duo were quoted as saying the old Townsville Railway Station , in which they were photographed , was haunted .
On reading this , our S(h)ipping Reporter clutched at his vitals while laughing like a loon. He decided then and there to nominate Weatherup and his moulting bird for induction into the Journalism Hall of Fame in Melbourne next month .
Why? Because he has solved the baffling mystery of why Townsville's Victory in the Pacific Memorial Fountain is not working and the ornate nearby ticket office ( above) in the old railway building , which contains a World War l roll of honour , invariably needs a sweep , leaves and dust visible. Obviously, ghosts scare the pants off anybody attempting to look after the sites .
When our nautical roundsman recently inspected the long closed ticket office, above , he had the uneasy feeling he was being watched . In a corner he spotted a wet patch - evidence of a resident spook with a bladder control problem ?
On the basis of these two in depth reports in the newspaper the Ghost Busters should be called in to enable the regular repair and cleansing of Townsville's important sites. The Northern Territory News , Darwin , another Murdoch paper, with the same front page slogan as the Bulletin , should also be alerted as it delights in running stories about UFOs and aliens from outer space .
The cheeky Magpie also took the piss out of the Bulletin , which he calls the Astonisher , in respect of a report it ran about people who picked up a person at a Townsville Macca's outlet who later tried to rob them armed with a samurai sword. It featured a close up graphic of somebody , not sure what gender , in a wrap around , holding a kitchen knife.
The Magpie said the photo was either " a bloody big Japanese", or a tiny samurai sword .
Normal abnormal para : Bulletin subsequently apologised to the investigator for making out he was one of the women in the Townsville ghosts story but made no comment about the caught short samurai . However, a week later, the Bulletin used the same photograph of the person holding what obviously was not a samurai sword to draw attention to a tragic story about a Townsville woman who had been savagely stabbed by a man while she was putting out a wheelie bin .
Normal abnormal para : Bulletin subsequently apologised to the investigator for making out he was one of the women in the Townsville ghosts story but made no comment about the caught short samurai . However, a week later, the Bulletin used the same photograph of the person holding what obviously was not a samurai sword to draw attention to a tragic story about a Townsville woman who had been savagely stabbed by a man while she was putting out a wheelie bin .
