In 1979 , when this song graced the
airwaves it could have
given the impression that Australia had been whipped up by an
early TV
chef high on cooking sherry
. Why? Because
it declared that the nation
was a
smorgasborg - as Greek as
souvlaki, Irish as a
stew, Italian as
spaghetti, Danish as
blue , Dutch as gouda , Middle
Eastern as lamb, German as
a dumpling and
Yankee as a ham. The troubadour who sang
this unusual song for his
supper was a Smith
, but no ordinary Smith...Salvador Smith ,
who claimed to be a “
dink-ie-die Aussie .’’ With an obvious identity crisis , he
went on to say that he was
Turkish as coffee
and Pom as
strawberry jam . As the Chinese contributed much
to the nation
it is a
shame they did not
get
a mention along with dim
sims or
spring rolls. Words and
music were by
Peter Best . Copyright was in the
name of Acme Pty. Ltd., all print rights controlled by
April Music Pty. Ltd., 15 Blue Street , North Sydney .
Thursday, July 31, 2014
TASTY BALKANS TRIP ENCOUNTERS NOISY GERMAN SING-ALONGS, EXTENDED FRENCH REVOLUTION
Abandoning their cruiser , The Butterfly , in France , our roaming correspondents , Peter and Judi Burleigh, head to Dubrovnik , providing further entertaining pages from their travel diary .
Croatia
fought a nasty war against the Serbs in the 90s. That fact , apart from knowing Serbia used to be
part of Tito’s Yugoslavia, is the sum
total of my knowledge of the country – oh
yes, and that it’s not part of the Schengen Agreement although it’s applied for membership.
Consequently we front up to our flight on Aigle Azure , the unknown charter airline, to fly to Dubrovnik. Terminal 2B at Charles de Gaulle is similar to Room 101 in the Ministry of Fear and is over-stuffed with lost souls in bureaucratic limbo, a shrilling of screaming kids, and blank-faced officials wishing they were somewhere else. On cue we switch on our mental ‘blank mode’ which gives us cow-like stoicism and the patience of Job.
Consequently we front up to our flight on Aigle Azure , the unknown charter airline, to fly to Dubrovnik. Terminal 2B at Charles de Gaulle is similar to Room 101 in the Ministry of Fear and is over-stuffed with lost souls in bureaucratic limbo, a shrilling of screaming kids, and blank-faced officials wishing they were somewhere else. On cue we switch on our mental ‘blank mode’ which gives us cow-like stoicism and the patience of Job.
Our first week is spent on the MB Leonardo, a small 12-cabin passenger cruiser. Our route hugs the Dalmation Coast from Dubrovnik to Split and back again. The crew of five speak English (or different versions of it) and are efficient and friendly. The boat is spotless, the cook tries hard, the days are sunny and of perfect temperature, and the Croatian villages are pretty and picturesque.
We stop in a different village harbour each night, some large and developed like Split and Hvar, others with concentrated charm like Karcula and Cavtat. One of our favourite Sydney eateries was the Balkans Seafood Restaurant near Taylor’s Square in Darlinghurst, and we found the same BBQ style is a Croatian standard. Fresh calamari and Sea Bass cooked over the coals doesn’t get better than this.
It disturbed to realise the war was happening in 1992. But tourists have their own needs; remembering a conflict is not on their agenda. Far from being claustrophobic the boat is relaxing and exciting at the same time. Two of the crew are named “Igor” but bear no relation to Dr. Frankenstein’s assistant. We vow to repeat the experience sometime, preferably with a group of friends.
Our
second week is spent in the Epidaurus Resort near Dubrovnik. Despite its name
it’s not a plastic surgery clinic or a tattoo supermarket, it’s all Germans
fighting over deck chairs and guttural karaoke in the evenings - but that’s the
worst of it. The best of it is the ‘all-included’ wrist band we wear 24-hours a
day which entitles us to all food, drinks and activities in unlimited
quantities. The Croatian staff is smoothly professional and good-natured.
I WILL RETURN ( FOR SEVEN DAYS)
For a brief seven-day interlude to ingest some French wine and good food we return to the boat before travelling elsewhere to avoid the Schengen curse. When we arrive at the Franco-Swiss border we find a railway strike has been invoked to prevent us getting to Dijon and St Jean de Losne.
Finally, after travelling 16 hours from Dubrovnik, we finally fall into the bed on the boat. Welcome to France. Sometimes it’s hard not to get pissed off with ‘Liberte, Equalite, Fraternite’ when all you want is get on a train and go home. We renew our dialogue with our friends in various supermarkets, load up with the promised food and wine, and settle down to some really sumptuous consumption. NEXT:Man's best friend is a camel !!!
THE GOVERNOR-GENERAL AND BILLY BORKER : Continuing biog of Northern Territory Crusading Editor,"Big Jim" Bowditch.
In April l967 the Gurindji petitioned the Governor-General, Lord
Casey , seeking to gain tenure of their tribal land in the
Wave Hill-Limbunya area . The
petition carried the thumb prints
of Vincent Lingiari , Pincher Manguari, Gerry
Ngalgardji and Long-John Kitgnaari. It explained the document had been transcribed, witnessed and
transmitted by Frank Hardy and J.
W. Jeffrey, a Welfare Department officer
, sympathetic to the Gurindji cause ,
because the Gurindji had never
had the opportunity to learn
English . It read -
We , the leaders of the
Gurindji people, write to you about our
earnest desire to regain tenure of our
tribal lands in the Wave Hill-Limbunya area
of the Northern Territory , of
which we were dispossessed in time past, and for which we received no recompense.
Our people have lived here from time immemorial and our culture, myths, dreaming and
sacred places have evolved in this land .
Many of our forefathers were
killed in the early days while trying to retain it. Therefore we feel that morally the land is ours and should be returned to us. Our very name Aboriginal acknowledges our prior claim. We have
never ceased to say amongst ourselves that Vesteys should go away and leave us to
our land .
In the attached map , we
have marked out the boundaries of the
sacred places of our dreaming , bordering the Victoria River from Wave hill Police Station to Hooker Creek,
Inverway,Limbunya, Seal Gorge,etc,. We
have begun to build our own new
homestead on the banks of beautiful
Wattie Creek in the Seal Yard area, where
there is permanent water. This is
the main place of our
dreaming only a few miles
from Seal Gorge where we have kept
the bones of our martys all
these years since white men killed many of our people. On the walls
of the sacred caves where their
bones are kept are the paintings of the
totems of our tribe.
We have already occcupied
a small area at Seal Yard under Miners Rights held by three of our tribesmen. We
will continue to build our new home there ( marked on the map with a cross), then buy some working horses with which we will trap
and capture wild
unbranded horses and cattle.
These we will use to build
up a cattle station within the
borders of this ancient Gurindji
land. And we are searching the area
for valuable rocks which we
hope to sell to help feed
our people. We will ask
the N.T. Welfare Department
for help with motor for pump, seeds for garden, tables, chairs,
and others things as well . Later on we
will build a road and an airstrip and maybe a school. Meanwhile, most of our
people will continue to live in the camp we have built
at the Wave Hill Welfare Centre
12 miles away and the children continue to go to
school there.
We beg of you
to hear our voices asking that the land marked on the map
be returned to the Gurindji people. It is about 500 square miles in area
but this is only a very small
fraction of the land leased by
Vesteys in these parts. We are prepared to pay
for our land the same annual
rental the Vesteys now pay.
If the question of compensation arises , we feel that we have already paid enough
during 50 years or more, during which time we and
our fathers worked for no
wages at all much of the time and for
a mere pittance in recent
years.
If you can grant this wish
for which we humbly ask, we would
show the rest of Australia and the whole
world that we are capable of
working and planning our own destiny as free citizens . Much
has been said about
our refusal to accept responsibility in the past
, but who would show
initiative working for starvation
wages , under impossible conditions, without education for strangers
in their land ? But
we are ready to show initiative now
. We have already begun. We know how to work cattle better than any white man and we know and
love this land of ours.
If our tribal lands are returned to us, we want them, not
as another " Aboriginal Reserve ", but as a
leasehold to be run cooperatively as a
mining lease and cattle station by the
Gurindji Tribe. All practical work will
be done by us, except
such work as book-keeping, for
which we would employ white men of good faith , until such time as our own
people are sufficiently
educated to take over .
We will also accept the condition
that if we do not succeed
within a reasonable time, our
land should go back to the Government.
( In August last year, we walked away from the Wave Hill Cattle station
. It was said that we did this because
wages were very poor ( only
six dollars per week ), living conditions fit only for dogs, and rations consisting
mainly of salt beef and
bread. True enough.
But we walked away for other
reasons as well. To protect
our women and our tribe , to try to
stand on our own feet.
We will never go back there.
) . Some of our young men are working now at Camfield and Montejinnie Cattle Stations for proper wages . However,
we will ask them to come back to our own Gurindji Homestead
when everything is ready...
In his reply, Lord Casey
said the Vestey’s lease did not expire till the year 2004. Robert Tudawali also supported the Gurindji and
took part in the campaign . He was
about to go to Wave Hill on
a supply truck run from
Darwin when it was discovered he
was suffering from TB and Captain Major went in his place . Tudawali
died a terrible death in
July l967 at the age of 38 .
In a deathbed statement to police he
claimed that he had been drinking a flagon of wine with others near Bagot
when a row broke out over his 12
year old daughter. He had been knocked
to the ground and grass deliberately
ignited to burn him . He died of
burns to the chest, back and arms .
Police, however, said it was not clear what had happened. There was a
suggestion that after drinking, Tudawali
might have woken up after drinking and, feeling cold, set fire to the grass to
warm himself.
Hardy was involved in
a more light-hearted event in
l967 - the Australian Yarn
Spinning Championship , an NT News promotion .
He was pitted against a colourful
local identity, the much tattooed Tall
Tale Tex Tyrell who had won a
Talkathon in Alice Springs back in l954
, about which Keith Willey had written a lively account . There were several photographs of
Frank , he being billed as “Billy Borker” Hardy . Hardy
boasted a “secret weapon ”-his pipe, which he jabbed to emphasise a point. Judges included
Cec Holmes and Doug Lockwood .
The event was staged in
the Hotel Darwin and eventually won by Hardy
after Tyrell collapsed following
more than three hours of earbashing.
A subsequent Swan Brewery advertisement in the NT News carried drawings of
Hardy and Tyrell which were probably
done by Frank. A lengthy article by Hardy explained how he had become involved
in the contest -Bowditch and others in a
pub had urged him to enter . NEXT : A quiet place to write a book
Wednesday, July 30, 2014
DIARY OF A CURLEW CARER # 1 Enter the Killer Kookaburra
The arrival or two
more cute baby Curlews is a wonderful event . But protecting them from predators brings back bad
memories .The very first Curlew protected to a stage in growth when it was felt
to be “safe” disappeared overnight .
A cat, a dog , a snake ? Then along came Chicky, mentioned several times in this blog , who survived the marauding Barking Owls and other predators . When Chicky’s parents became broody again , they drove their offspring , upon which they had lavished care and protection , away from the backyard so that they could canoodle . Chicky joined the large number of Curlews who congregate out the front .
Each time
booted-out Chicky dares to venture into the backyard seeking to be
fed by my wife, its father homes
in like an Exocet missile, wings outspread , screeching , and drives
its sibling off the range . Poor Chicky has bravely snuck into the kitchen on
two occasions , seeking sympathy and tucker .
Banished to the front, Chicky has teamed up with Yellow Baby, hand raised since a baby orphan , its name due to the fact that it has a yellow band on a leg. When my wife goes out the front of the house and calls Chicky up run Chicky, Yellow Baby... and an increasing number of buddies trying to pass themselves off as Chicky for a quick feed.
When my wife
was feeding the father
in the backyard one afternoon, a Blue-winged Kookaburra swooped down and
started to gobble down the food. Knowing
that Kookaburras kill
baby birds, including Curlews,I
dashed out waving a broom to drive it away.
The Kookaburra seemed to think it was
a game and flapped about the yard , me running hither and thither, like the Fuller Brush Man . From the fence , the Kookaburra looked
at the Curlew mother with the chicks and she responded
with a hiss.
REPORTING IN SHRINKING KIWI NEWSPAPER PARADISE
Tuesday, July 29, 2014
HERCULE POIROT ON SECRET MISSION
CANBERRRA: We can exclusively reveal that actor David Suchet is really here on a top secret assignment - as a consultant for a proposed Australian version of the hilarious BBC TV series Blott On The Landscape.
In the British smash hit , based on the 1975 novel by Tom Sharpe , Suchet played the part of Blott , a former German prisoner of war gardener , who helps bossomy Lady Maud Lynchwood save her ancestral mansion being destroyed to make way for a motorway, an act secretly supported by her unfaithful , money- hungry husband, Sir Giles Lynchwood, a dodgy politician, played by that arch villain , Arthur Daley (George Cole ).
Suchet reluctantly admitted he was approached by a group of investors ,one thought to be Phillip Adams of the ABC, to act as a talent scout for the Aussie series , called Blotto On the Australian Landscape. With Coalition governments promising to build more infrastructure roads in Australia than the Holy Roman Empire , it is thought now is an ideal time for the Aussie remake.
Furthermore, it has been suggested past and present politicians should be considered for parts in the series. The casting couch could be occupied by a host of would be starlets wanting to play the Australian equivalent part of frowsy Mrs Forthby , who panders to Sir Giles’s odd fetish , at times greeting him at her home dressed up as the Naughty Catheter Nurse or a schoolgirl, even gagging and tying him to the bed . Suchet said Mrs Forthby is a kind of Madam Lash personality . Did Little Darwin , he asked, know anyone who fits this description in the political world ? Do we ever !!!!
The actor, made famous by the Agatha Christie series , said he found comments by the Federal minister for rustic ventures , Barnaby Joyce, above , most interesting during the recent ABC Q and A session . Fascinating was the fact that the minister plays with a killer tick.
“I am sure Agatha Christie could have written a play around such a murderous insect , if she had known that it existed,” he added . At the end of Q and A , Barnaby pulled the pet tick from his pocket and showed it to Suchet, who fell to the floor with fright and lay there like a corpse until revived with smelling salts by the ABC soon to be sacked chief tea lady and head of program planning , Miss Marple .
Monday, July 28, 2014
'"DIRTY " TWIST IN BARRIER REEF BATTLE CLAIMED BY CAMPAIGNERS
Days before the Federal and Queensland governments gave the green light for Adani , an Indian mining company, to proceed with its $10 billion Carmichael project in the Gallilee Basin, GetUp , the independent and not for profit campaign group, sent out the following surprising email :-
This is almost too dirty to believe. Adani is a coal company with a record of environmental destruction across the world: destroying conservation areas, bribing government officials, and blatantly ignoring environmental regulations. Now they want Australians to trust them with the world's largest coal export facility on the Great Barrier Reef coastline. So when GetUp members made a video explaining Adani's history, it went viral online and was noticed by potential investors across the world.
Then, suddenly, it disappeared. It looks like an individual who has a business relationship with Adani set up a fake website, uploaded our video, and launched a copyright action claiming our video as their own. That means the video has been taken down just days after Adani announced it was looking for banks to fund their project.
We can't be silenced now. It's time to fight back. We're urgently working with lawyers and YouTube, and we're confident the video will be back online soon. But that's not enough. The message is obviously working - so let's supercharge it. If enough of us chip in, we can make sure every investor, banker or politician who researches Adani sees the video and learns that this company should not be trusted to operate on our Great Barrier Reef.
http://www.getup.org.au/silenced
Here's what we know about this video incident:
A copyright complaint was lodged to YouTube by someone from an obscure website. The website is mostly empty, containing only random pieces of content. The website has uploaded an exact copy of our Adani video through a different video provider, back-dated the video to last year, and claimed it as their own.
The person who uploaded the content and lodged the copyright claim has a very distinctive name, which also happens to be the name of someone who works for an Indian insurance company. This same insurance company also happens to be a close business partner with none other than Adani. Doesn't look good, does it?
The video puts the spotlight on Adani's frightening track record. It highlights
Adani's documented history of theft, bribery and corruption. It implores
investors not to help Adani construct the biggest coal mine in Australia, build
the world's biggest coal port on the Reef coastline, or traffic coal through
the Great Barrier Reef on thousands of ships.
The video had been seen by tens of thousands, including many of Adani's
potential investors. Online platform Upworthy picked up the video,
giving it truly global exposure. Just
days after it was released, the Courier Mail wrote a piece titled "India's
Ministry of Environment found Adani violated environmental conditions but
company expected to be allowed Queensland mine".
And now, at the most critical moment for Adani's plans to industrialise our
Reef, the video has been removed. This is our chance to show we will not be
silenced by anyone. That our voices, together, are bigger than whoever is
trying to hide the truth.
If enough of us chip in, we can make sure that every time someone searches for
Adani online, the first thing they find is our video - a clear explanation of
their history of bribery and environmental breaches. http://www.getup.org.au/silenced
Click here to get involved.
PS - We're working with online advertising experts to target investors,
bankers, business partners, and politicians both where they read their news,
and any time they research Adani's project online. Every time someone searches
"Adani" or "Abbot point" or similar terms, there's a
bidding war between advertisers who want their ad displayed. So if we want to reach potential
investors, and show that Adani is not trusted by Australians, every extra
dollar beats these people at their own game. Alone, none of us can fight back
against a huge company like that, but together, we can make sure that everyone
knows they should not be trusted with our Reef. Can you join us?
A southern media report claims Adani is in dire financial straits .
Sunday, July 27, 2014
CUTE CURLEWS ARRIVAL MEANS MANY SLEEPLESS NIGHTS
From the safety of its mother's tail feathers , three day old Curlew watches more adventurous sibling in the dangerous blog backyard .Barking Owls beware.
|
Soaking up some sun. |
THE FANNIE BAY BOOKIE SCAM
An exclusive
expose by an anonymous
mug punter , close friend of the desperadoes
involved In this failed Fine Cotton - like turf
swindle , which involved the misuse of Defence Department equipment .
Just one problem. Less than 24 hours to race day the Darwin Turf Club
announced it had arranged an alternative broadcast and there would be no
interruption of the race calls. And so, the Great Darwin Betting Coup collapsed. There was indeed a
gathering of the gang of four at the Darwin Hotel on Saturday night, where, in
a sea of beer, they pondered what might have been. Oh, and to add their
sorrows, they had all done their money at the races that day.
Bookies can smell a set-up from four furlongs away on a windless day and Fannie Bay's rough-and-tumble mainly blue-collar ring was no different, but that didn't stop one small group of punting tragics from giving it a go.
The players in the great bookie plot were led by one James Arthur Ramsay, better known as Jerker Jim and later to be a co-founder of the Kings Cross Whisper , but at that time reporter at the NT News. Jerker, formerly of Sydney, Melbourne, Brisbane, Albany, Gympie, some of which locales he departed in unseemly haste with various citizens wanting to know what happened to their money, either loaned and given over to a sure-fire get-rich scheme engineered by Jerker,shown below when he was editor of the Waratah Whisper .
Three other toilers at the ramshackle NT News office made up the rest of the team-- Peter Blake, enthusiastic but not too successful Fannie Bay regular and ironically years later to become a Darwin bookie himself, photo at top ; Margaret Greenberg reporter and fearless but perennially-broke punter whose good looks enabled her get on the nod with the more randy members of the Fannie Bay bookies " fraternity," and Grahame Aimers, lanky Kiwi linotype operator and flatmate of Ramsay and Blake and like many Kiwis of that era, closer to a quid than the print.
The final player shall be known only as Bill the Soldier, thirsty army sergeant stationed at Larrakeyah Army Barracks , befriended by Jerker during many a session at their favorite watering hole, the Vic Hotel, where the clientele was ruled with avuncular discipline by Richard Fong Lim, a good bloke whose brother Alec, coincidentally, was a Fannie Bay bookie.
At that time (early mid 1960s) the Darwin Turf Club got its radio broadcasts of the Saturday races courtesy of the ABC, but occasionally prior commitments meant these broadcasts were delayed. Such occasions were the cricket tests, the national broadcaster's holy grail and not to be interrupted for any reason, Also, technical problems would sometimes delay the broadcast, prompting some bookies to let eager punters on after the advertised starting time, for up to three or four minutes, a fact noted by the band of desperates.
This course of events was at the heart of the scheme to dud the bagmen. The ultimate beauty of it was that no laws would be broken. by betting after the starting time, the satchel-swingers had no comeback if they got taken to the cleaners by astute students of ABC radio form.
The big hurdle facing the would-be ring raiders was how to get the result of the non-broadcast races onto the track where the discreet plunges on the winner would be orchestrated. Learning the result was easy -- phone mates in the south and listen to the broadcast, or have somebody with communications equipment powerful enough to tap into the race broadcasts on the Sydney and Melbourne radio stations . Remember we are talking pre-mobile and internet days and it was not as if somebody could stroll into the racecourse car park with a bloody great ham radio strapped to his back and tune into the races. To say that this would not attract unwelcome official attention is rather like saying horse shit won't attract flies.
Still, wouldn't it be lovely if somehow, somebody could be positioned unseen in the car park within easy sight of the betting ring, and such accomplice would semaphore the result to members of the group, quids clutched in clammy hands and ready to invest on the sure thing with bookies still looking for action after the starting time.
Enter Sergeant Bill for his starring role. He had access to an army communications truck, and so the ability no-one else in Darwin possessed, picking up the race calls direct from Joe Brown and Ken Howard when the Darwin Turf Club had no live broadcast. Bloody perfect!The following Saturday there would be no broadcast of the first two races in the south because of cricket commitments-- and this was the window of opportunity. Depending on starting times this gave the group potentially the first four races to bet on.
However stern rules applied -- (1) If a bolter came in at big odds give it a miss --investing 20 or 30 pounds on a 33/1 shot would certainly ring alarm bells with the bookies particularly after the race had started and very likely such bookie would look very hard at the person wishing to place such a bet, maybe even suggesting he fuck off and stick his money you-know-where . (2) Don't bet with the same bookie twice and as there were four people handling the commission this was no problem. (3) No more than 30 quid in one bet -- also not a problem because the total bank for the ring-raid was about 200 quid. (4) Bet each way when odds allowed it and have a second losing bet on another horse to help allay suspicion. With up to four races to have a crack at, the haul for the day could reach a couple of grand -- serious cash for impoverished NT News hacks and an army sergeant.
Race day loomed and all concerned hoped it would culminate in a rollicking evening at the Hotel Darwin lounge bar or the Fannie Bay Hotel, -- traditional sites for Saturday night roistering. -- the Vic being reserved for routine week-day tippling.
By Thursday night the plan was ready to snap into operation. Bill had the army communications truck lined up, and the gang of four had targeted the bookies who, on previous form, would be be taking on punters after starting time.
This is how the betting coup would work. Blake was the point man stationed at the end of the betting ring where he had an uninterrupted view of the nerve centre of the operation -- Sergeant Bill's truck. As soon at the horses crossed the line Bill would hold up a piece of paper with the winner's number and Blake, Jerker, Greenberg and Aimers would fan out to get the money on. It looked foolproof and it was.
Just one problem. Less than 24 hours to race day the Darwin Turf Club
announced it had arranged an alternative broadcast and there would be no
interruption of the race calls. And so, the Great Darwin Betting Coup collapsed. There was indeed a
gathering of the gang of four at the Darwin Hotel on Saturday night, where, in
a sea of beer, they pondered what might have been. Oh, and to add their
sorrows, they had all done their money at the races that day.
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