Friday, February 9, 2018


LONDON : In a shock announcement , Buckingham Palace  today confirmed that Gypsy Rose Lee will not perform  the dance of the seven veils  on  Magnetic Island. An anonymous palace  spokeswoman, wearing the Coronation Crown , out walking  a  fat  Corgi ,  angrily   told Little Darwin's  Royal   Roundsman , Ned Forelock ,  the Townsville City Council and  Townsville Enterprise had unexpectedly withdrawn the invitation   for Stripy Gypsy to  dance  along the  walkway  near the ferry terminal  clad  in revealing  Welcome to Magnetic Island  strips  of   torn  scrim .

Why? Because  the long , tattered   lengths of  scrim, which  have hidden  the  decade  old  ugly island  hole , have  mysteriously disappeared  and  are no  longer visible to  the many people coming in  by ferry . Therefore   Ms. Lee  would  feel  naked without   any scrim to  wrap about her  person  and  perform  an  exotic   dance .  
After  Forelock reported this  scoop  to Little Darwin ,  we  asked  the S(h)ipping Reporter , the only one in North Australia ,  to investigate . He paddled  to the island  and found  a  puzzling  wide open  space , above ,  on   Saturday February 10 ,  devoid  of  the  banners  which  for months  had  been  flapping, collapsing, tearing ,  popping   eyelets   and  breaking  plastic    ties . 
The  flapdoodle scene February 6.  
The remnant  banners  had obviously been  torn down  in a hurry  and  with  force  as  there were   broken plastic ties scatteredd  along the walk . In all probability  that  troublesome Victorian  who  kept on  asking  Townsville City Council  about  the ongoing banner  fiasco  prompted  digital  removal . But  what happened  to  the  banners, Gypsy's proposed  skimpy,  tropical  clobber ?
With powerful  X-ray vision when it comes to nautical matters and  stripteasers , the wharf roaming  carrot munching   S(h)ipping  Reporter  promptly  discovered the  answer... just   around the   corner, below ,  a great bundle of  twisted  scrim, out of the sight of   passengers on incoming  ferries .   An  obvious  quick, inelegant  fix ,  like Brer Rabbit  thrown  into  the briar  patch .    
Buckingham Palace was annoyed when brought up to date  with  the island  situation  by the helpful and very loyal   S(h)ipping Reporter  and  said there was no way that Gypsy Rose Lee   could alter her arrangements  and  come to  the island as she had  been booked to  dance  in the White House Rose Garden  at   Donald  Trump's pending Impeachment  Party , which could take place soon . The  palace spokeswoman , being treated for rabies,  said the White House  party would be a real hoot , like the one staged  by  Tony Abbott  when he was voted  out  as Australian   PM  by  his  own  cobbers.