HAWAII FIVE-O : Angry Admiral Harry Harris has ordered Marines from Okinawa to storm the beaches of Townsville and raise the Wally World flag over the Townsville City Council bunker in Walker Street because of the continuing shocking neglect of the Victory in the Pacific fountain .
He gave this dramatic order after our S(h)ipping Reporter presented him with the latest report on the bizarre state of the fountain which indicated one of Cinderella's ugly , big footed stepsisters, possibly Drizella, may have been skinny dipping in the polluted water in the moonlight , losing one of her shoes, see above , in the process. A dead bird was found almost in the same spot as the footwear a month or so ago .
Readers will recall that this blog recently exclusively revealed that the almost completely dry fountain had been converted into an Ocker's tropical version of Rome's Trevi Fountain , which featured in the film Three Coins in a Fountain . In Townsville's case it was three five cent pieces , a hypodermic needle , chewing gum, a sauce sachet , leaves , part of a palm frond and assorted other gunk ; nearby was a pile of rotting bananas.
Well, folks , on February 15 , the fountain still was not working , although it had more water in it than previously . Only two coins could be seen ... the needle had gone , the chewy was still there , added were a feather, two bottle tops , a straw , assorted Russian space junk .A round drink container with large eyes had been floating about for so long it had flattened out into an undulating sheet . A blob of takeaway food on the fountain wall was covered in ants . Drink containers and cans were stuffed in a cluster of foliage . The nearby bus shelter , daubed with graffiti , still displaying the rude remark about Donald Trump. About three hours later , the shoe was still visible .
After the brave Marines take possession of the council building they will convert the TCC's stretch limo into a Wally World bus and make a mission accomplished victory parade down The Strand to hordes of cheering ratepayers.
Admiral Harry says he will send a signal to Canberra declaring he will not take up the job as US Ambassador to Australia until the fountain is cleaned up , working , and checked every day ; the rusting anchor off the aircraft carrier Coral Sea , near the Townsville ferry terminal , must also be made shipshape .