Saturday, September 3, 2016


Exclusive  report  on  Pearl Harbour like  attack  on  Canberra  Aquarium by  our  award winning   political  pundit , Argus Tuft

While the Turnbull Government  was  bobbing  belly up in the House of Representatives , the  National Party  Whip , George  Christensen  (LNP , Queensland ) ,   stripped  down  to  his  true  identity as  a  thwarted  Great Barrier Reef  turtle patron  to  help  get  the  numbers  that  finally  saved  the government from being turned into  fish  fingers  by the  ALP.  He is that large  white  figure  in the  above  dramatic  photograph , the worried looking PM about to don a made in China life jacket , Christopher  Pyne  ready  to fire soggy  Titanic  distress  flares . 
Before  the ALP  hit  the  government ship of state  with a  Japanese whaling  harpoon , just on closing time , corpulent  Christensen  was  dressed in  a  suit  which made him look like  a shellback  turtle . There was a frantic  call for all hands on deck as the ship began to list , so  Christensen threw off his coat, rolled up his sleeves  and threw himself into the large hole in the side of  SS Turnbull .
During  the  recent election campaign those  wretched  GetUp! activists tried to chuck  Christensen , above ,  into a  huge boiling vat  of  mock  turtle   soup  when he promised to donate $12,000  to  a Whitsunday turtle rescue  group-if  he  were  voted back in . GetUp!complained to the Australian Electoral Commission  that  this  could be seen as   buying  votes, the matter was referred to the Australian Federal Police , the outcome of  that  investigation  not  yet  known . Of course ,the  AFP  is  run off its feet  of  late , invading  parliament  in a  search for  those  subversive  fiends  upholding  democracy  and  freedom  in  this country .
After the sneaky ALP attack , Immigration Minister   Peter Dutton , missing   during the   count, and  turtle teller  Christensen   drew up contingency plans to  counter  any  further  enemy attacks .