Sunday, September 25, 2016


CANBERRA : The  official  receiver  of  political  vessels which  have come to grief  in Australian  waters  during  recent elections   is  to  be housed in a  massive, new  $10million warehouse   on  the shore  of  Lake  Burley  Griffin .  In Darwin , the  artistic, bug-eyed  ABC  breakfast  staff   made  the above  boat out  of  political corflutes used  during  the  landslide  election which saw  the  Country Liberal  Party go  down like the tragic  wreck of  the  Gothenburg , in  Queensland waters, on a voyage from  Darwin  to Adelaide .
The  ABC officially named the corflute  boat  SS Opposition  as  it only has two seats and that is how many seats the CLP  won . The insolent government  funded   public broadcaster  is urging  the Canberra   ABC   office to make a  similar  corflute vessel  after the October  15 election in the Australian Capital Territory.
After the Liberal National Party  Campbell   Newman  Government   went  down  like  the Titanic  at  the  last state election in Queensland  soon after the  conservatives  lost  Victoria , the Receiver of  Wreck  has been busier than  the  proverbial one armed paperhanger  and the  AFP  taking  delivery of  buckled ,  barnacle  encrusted  hulks , formerly  shiny  ships of  state  (say  this last part  six times fast  after downing six  bottles  of   Grange ).
The Turnbull Cayman Islands  cruise  ship is currently  listing  badly  and  could end up in  Davy Jones's locker   in  the near  future , causing more problems for the already  stressed  out  receiver.  Another  maritime  disaster is  looming in Western Australia  where  the  embattled  premier  survived  an attack by the  crew of the Emden  while  he was reviewing  troops ,  wearing a made in China lifejacket .

And who can  forget  the threat by  the Queensland  "maverick member for Dawson " ,  George  Christensen  , made to the  accompaniment  of unhappy   Tasmanian discordant hornpipe players, to   jump ship  and  possibly join the Pauline Hanson torpedo boat  crew , according  to  media reports. If  he  had dived overboard , the  political  tsunami   would  have  caused  mayhem   in   true  blue  back  rooms  and  alarmed Lloyds  of  London . 
While the Japanese did not  get Australia's submarine  contract , they can expect to  get  a  mountain  of maritime  scrapmetal  in  the near   future   due  to all  those right wingers in sailor suits  trying to grab the  helm   and   the  growing  number of  muttering   mutineers in  the ranks who just   want  to  take over  the  ship  and sail off  to the Pacific,  to nibble endless  peanut butter sandwiches made  from  breadfruit, swill  kava  , and  press noses with the  friendly island  girls  in  grass  skirts .