Saturday, March 29, 2014

WARS OF THE ROSES RESUMES IN AUSTRALIAN PRICKLE PATCH

Grim-faced  front  line  troops , several  suspected  republican  sympathisers ,  prepared  to  die   soon  in  the    battle  for  the   Dutchy  of  Westralia in the   struggle  for  the   Plantagenet   Stuffed  and  Plucked   Peacock   Throne . 
 
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Me lords , ladies  and ratfinks , as a  soon  to   be  sacked  public  town crier,  I  draw  your  attention  to  the    London  Dreary  Lane   version   of   the   bloody , 100  year long  Wars of  the  Roses , now  playing  to deranged audiences in  the   penal   colony   of   Canberra .
 
The key  thespian in  the   House  of   Reps  plays   Bronnie  the   War  Winner , wearing   chain  mail   under  her  jerkin   to  ward   off  slings, arrows  and points of  order ,  proudly   displays  a  red rose  on  her  bosom  as  she  flails about  with  her . 45  calibre  claymore  at  the  serfs  on  her  left.

 
Such is the  power  of  her  acting ,  like something  out of the Vikings  or Revenge of  the Vampires , she  has  the  Lefties  exiting  the  trenches  faster  than  Irish  line dancers  on  speed .  Her  performance has  been likened  by   some  theatre  critics  to  repetitious  singing of  10 green bottles sitting  on  a  wall.

Braveheart   version  likely   for  Orstralians ?
 At  times Bronnie   wears  a bright   ,  round  brooch which appears  to  be  a female version of  the Sun God . On  her  right , are  those  who claim  to  be  the   true   blue  rulers  of   the Plantagenet   kingdom ,  a  cacophonous   kakistocracy , upon    which  the  sun  sure  does  shine , superior lords , ladies , miners of  white lead and cinnabar for the  China  doll  market  fawn  upon  them , seeking favours .


Rose and  parrot brooch
Instead  of  using  battering  rams  to destroy Opposition castles and ale houses, the stuttering  nay- sayers  employ battology .This is  the  black art  of  continual reiteration of  the same words or phrases ... to smash the revolting  vassals and highly paid , rorting  stone  mason  mates on manor house  building  sites.

 
 The   huge   cast  includes  a   large number of  fopdoodles , ass- headed  Bottom  from  a Midsummer  Night’s  Dream, Billy  Bunter,  Madonna , a salesman  of  recycled  spring   water  and  massive  doses  of   right  wing  media   Gregory  PowderDuring  interval, a South Australian Fairy  Floss  and suppositories  vendor  provides  a  welcome  break  to the titanic struggle between the   warring houses of  Lancaster and  Yorkeys  Knob  played  out  on  the  blood-soaked  stage .