True to
his threat , defiant Queensland Premier , Campbell Newman, above, has started inviting overseas doctors to replace ones
threatening to leave
Queensland Health .
It
can be revealed the
first replacement doctor
coming to Brisbane is a Dr
Martin Ellingham, from a
quaint village on
the Cornish coast , Fortified Port Wine . Known
to the
local yokels as Doc
Martin , he wrote the Imperial College bible for Pommie medical
students - the illustrated guide , complete with a long-life , lithium battery charged cattle prod, on how to handle insufferable , annoying patients.
In
an exclusive interview this morning , Doc Martin said
he would like to meet a fullblooded , suntanned
Surfers Paradise Meter Maid
with a wonky grandfather
clock ,with a desire to repeatedly tinker with the pendulum.
Because
of
his unfortunate childhood , due to parents who showed him no love and affection , Doc Martin has asked the premier to supply him with one of those two-headed Tasmanian Teddy Bears
to cuddle at
night after a hard
day stitching up the mouths of politicians to
prevent them from saying stupid
things .
Premier Newman claims Doc
Martin has been closely associated with the constabulary in Cornwall and he will be asked to
assess the safety
of the
obstacle course at
the Brisbane Police Academy. The Mad
Doctor of Harley Street
has also indicated he would like to set up
office in Queensland
to avoid close questioning by
Scotland Yard's Jack the Ripper Squad and the taxation department .
The
Premier
defended Health Minister
Lawrence Springborg’s handling of the controversial new
contracts . He denied that the
minister had inflamed the
situation , turning it into an angry carbuncle.
