Soon to be downsized , Clive Palmer with one of the few reasonable politicians in Australia, Independent Tasmanian anti pokies Senator, Andrew Wilkie , at Press conference . Cameraman in background seems to be removing an Apple Isle scallop from his nostril .
HOBART : Heavyweight , maverick politician , Clive Palmer , is to
undergo a crash weight loss regime
to turn himself
into a replica of skinny Mahatma
Gandhi who eventually helped bring
down the British Raj . At first, the mighty British Empire
scoffed at Gandhi , saying he was a funny
little man who got about in a bedsheet. Palmer has not indicated if his new , sylph-like body will be draped in a toga or an Actil .
Palmer
said he wants to become a Gandhi look
alike to win the votes of
the growing ranks of
Australian, unemployed
Untouchables . His
bold blubber loss plan was
revealed during the
Tasmanian election at a campaign launch in one of the
state’s many old
whaling stations. An evil reporter from The Australian tried to harpoon Palmer by asking him if it is true that he wears reinforced whalebone corsets.
Quick as a flash, Clive asked if Rupert Murdoch is speed
dating nowadays .
Palmer
vowed he would lose so much weight he
would end up looking like a tasty
sucking piglet
with a Tassie Grannie Smith apple stuck in his mouth, a ribbon attached to his
whistle . Unlike the passive resistance advocate Gandhi, the ponderous
polly from Queensland will have his
stomach stapled like
Federal Treasurer , bulky Joe
Hockey . Often dressed like a Billingsgate
butcher in a striped
suit
since the operation, Hockey has been
bellowing as if
one of Palmer’s dinosaurs with
a toothache or suffering a hunger pang.
