A celebrity cosmetic surgeon has been called in to help PM Scott Morrison recover from terrible burns due to his pants bursting into flames at Toorak during another day of photo opportunities and stunts across three states .
In the latest bulletin on the PM's medical condition , a celebrity surgeon told ace political reporter Argus Tuft the third degree burns and anthracite ash in Morrison's nether region prove the fossil fuel industry has him and the Coalition by the short and curlies.
The PM is being treated in a kitty litter box at the Toorak animal pound because the Queen refused to allow him to be admitted to the emergency ward at the Royal Melbourne Hospital due to his phoney carbon reduction plan for Australia trotted out at COP26.
A visiting celebrity vet at the pound revealed the PM has a wet nose and is barking mad over Smackos .
Meanwhile , celebrity cartoonist , David Rowe, of the Australian Financial Review, has chained and mounted our rabid leader to a pedestal .
