CANBERRA: In a surprise move, the exhausted Minister for Fixing Australian Government Cockups , today announced the port of Darwin will be taken from Chinese control and given to the French , avec a lifetime supply of Australian made champagne .
In addition, the Northern Territory's strategic main north-south road , the Stuart Highway ,will be renamed the Charles de Gaulle Expressway ,with a new route added through Uluru .
Details of what the French will do with the port are , naturally, top secret. However, LIttle Darwin can reveal that a fleet of nuclear powered midget submarines , a teensy-weensy force de frappe , will be permanently stationed in Cullen Bay and may be asked to hunt down and sink the Mandorah Monster .
It will be under the control of Commander Toulouse Lautrec , More details will be posted about moves by Australia to appease the French .
