Its distinctive tail already turned into feather dusters , looking decidedly ruffled elsewhere, sickly , despite frequent hydroxychloroquine infusions and laying on of hands by notorious pot boiler and chook cuddler Donald J. Trump, the obviously guilty Russian Thankgiving turkey he pardoned has been placed in quarantine and is expected to be axed , like the president , any moment soon .
A joint state funeral is planned for the turkey and the plucked president at which the world's largest choir of weeping Republicans and Fox News reporters will create a deafening filibuster for Joe Biden . This will be organised by Randy Rainbow , who will receive a Purple Heart to add to his colourful CV , for his patriotic and brave musical performances in past months, especially standing within a country mile of the infectious president while conducting a female choir singing the health advantages of swilling various cleaning fluids endorsed by the Prez .
