CANBERRA: Rampaging , recalcitrant members of the Nationals have threatened to bring down the ScoMo shambles if the punk rock band they have formed is not appointed Australia's official entrant at the forthcoming EuroVision contest.
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Rocking the boat leader of the raucous punks has access to many baby safety pins to stick in his ears and nostril .
This group of bellicose Nats holding the rusty blunderbuss to the head of the shambolic government is comprised of longtime Sid Vicious imitators who all claim they can make themselves heard above the common herd of pollhorn pollies . 
A regular drum-beating Nat is Senator Matt Canavan , who scoffed at schookids marching because of their concern about the planet and is up to his jug-ears in coal . Recently he was heard acting and shouting like an organ grinder berating a chimp in an Italian penny opera . During the Barnaby Joyce challenge to the Wagga Wagga Wrong Font , the Rocky pollie declared there was need for the party to shout louder , that Barnaby was the man to lead because he regularly roared like a bull having its testicles cut off .
A little known member of the band told the media it was essential to give Deputy Prime Minister Michael McCormack some bovver , put some spine back into the jelly of the month club Nationals .
Backed by The Goons , Barnaby can be heard on a cracked 45 record yodelling that the Nationals should be singing in their own discordant voice to an invisible audience which, somehow, you would think has no chance of winning at the EuroVision contest nor helping them retain their seats at the next election. 
Meanwhile , a ragged mob of power mad minstrels , the Murdoch Mutilators , has backed a move to replace deep fried McCormack with the Federal Water Minister David Littleproud's soggy effigy (above) which angry farmers at Tocumwal ,NSW, threw into the Murray River in September , furious over the Murray-Darling Basin Plan which had created a dust bowl in the foodbowl and killed vast numbers of fish .
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