PENTAGON : It has just been revealed the United States Air Force Project Blue Book has been flooded with reports of aliens and UFOs galore in Queensland . Little Darwin has been given exclusive access to those scary photographs and field reports. Readers fearful of being abducted by aliens from another planet and anally examined , like so many Americans believe has happened to them (no wonder Donald Trump became president ) , are warned the following post will shock.
USAF firmly believes this startling image is a giant Martian with a loud hailer or large ray gun and a backpack zooming across Cleveland Bay towards Townsville at the speed of light , with supplies for aliens from Planet Zog and elsewhere , already infiltrating the planet and brain- washing locals with the help of the Murdoch media minions , especially the Townsville Bulletin, during the election .
The Blue Book editor says it is obvious that at the prepolling centre in the Townsville CBD aliens zapped the grey matter of the Townsville City Council to allow them to permanently park their UFOs promoting the LNP and the Dalek Australia United Party in the two hour maximum parking area , above. Earthlings and angry ratepayers are annoyed . A cigar chomping USAF squadron leader told Little Darwin he suspects some of the council have been anally examined at some stage in the past and turned into obedient, muddle thinking and acting slaves .
To counter the malevolent influence of creatures from outer space and the local paper on the Townsville voters, it was good to see the wonderful Flying Nanny, Mary Poppins, land, with a screech of brakes , in a flurry of taffeta , displaying a glimpse of a well turned ankle and demure button up boots , to give her celebrity support to the Greens.
