Australia’s commitment to the war in Afghanistan received a boost today when the Rudd Government announced that a battalion of nude pensioners will be sent to Kabul. These are the same pensioners who brought Melbourne to a standstill when they stripped down to their underwear and frightened everybody- including the underworld , the Victorian Police Association and the government .
Egged on by militant Indian taxi drivers who live the high life on eight bucks an hour , the pensioners let it all hang out . It was an ugly situation which shocked the nation , derailed trams, frightened horses and caused an outbreak of rheumatism and pneumonia.
Sadly , the saturation TV news coverage caused thousands of children to be scared of their grandparents. Many children now have nightmares about their flabby grannies . The Taliban reportedly fled to the hills, shedding their weapons, when they heard about the Aussie shock troops about to hit the country. Wearing camouflaged mother hubbards , the pensioner task force will sneak up on the enemy , whip off their gear ,and do a Full Monty, which is against the Geneva Convention, but who cares when you are having such fun and being fed on war surplus Army rations ?
Another plus for the grannies will be that fact that if they flutter their eyelashes , they can expect to be given packets of chewing gum and nylon stockings by lonely Yank soldiers . The pensioners will overnight in Darwin , rampage through the Mitchell Street nightclub and bingo precinct , and fly on to Afghanistan the next morning .
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