PIG'S ARSE DENIAL ****************

The ABC’s Q and A Tv show this week was a ripper . Gravel voiced John Elliot , former president of the Liberal Party, appeared to be suffering from nicotine withdrawal or the strain of demonstrating good manners in public. He denied that he had ever uttered pig’s arse , chain smoked and slurped from Darwin stubbies .

The show covered an amazing range of subjects: the Big Swinging Dicks of the Liberal Party plotting to get rid of Deputy Leader Julie Bishop, poppycock , Archbishop Pell’s views on condoms, paid maternity leave , tuition for uncouth colonials who dine with Prince Charles and male swines who don’t stand up for pregnant women. At times, Elliot gave a dazzling imitation of John Howard ranting against asylum seekers. The Opposition’s spokesman for Women , Sophie Mirabella , also showed why she was looked upon with favour by Little Johnny .

The show ended with a comical mashup about Malcom Turnbull and Peter Costello jostling for attention , the former Treasurer with the rubbery kisser never challenging for the leadership because “ Costello is Yellow ”, the clever skit played out to the tune of Mellow Yellow.