Townsville's  tipsy  former  post office  tower clock  is still unable  to  tell  the  correct time  on  all  fronts . In slurred  pub  test  jargon , a   pissed  chronometer  means  the  incumbent   government is  not   full  bottle   and   sells  moonshine   and  dangerous  sly   grog   from   pork  barrels  to    voters  at  election   time.  It is therefore  time for a change.  In Darwin ,    ALP  Leader Bill  Shorten  was  selected   to  become the  next PM  in another  scientific  test  conducted  at  the crocodile   park .   A  leaping saurian  found  Bill  tastier  than  ScoMo.