Scoop coded dispatch from ace Pommie reporter William Boot sent from London by powerful media magnate Lord Copper to the under attack steamy British Pacific outpost of Townsville. Brave Boot , suffering from prickly heat and tight jodhpurs , sent the following alarming message, delivered in a forked stick , under plain wrapper, by a dark skinned runner at the Fleet Street newspaper office .
Nothing much happened here today . The town hall clock not working properly, there is a giant crocodile swimming in the Victory in the Pacific Fountain , 20 spin doctors arrived by bus from Canberra and fake printed in China $100 notes, glass beads and a lifetime supply of free laughing gas being handed out to anybody who buys a copy of the local broadsheet. Colony of nice dodos nesting in Townsville Bulletin office building and large crop of mushrooms in Anzac Memorial Park . Cheers. Boot .
Nothing much happened here today . The town hall clock not working properly, there is a giant crocodile swimming in the Victory in the Pacific Fountain , 20 spin doctors arrived by bus from Canberra and fake printed in China $100 notes, glass beads and a lifetime supply of free laughing gas being handed out to anybody who buys a copy of the local broadsheet. Colony of nice dodos nesting in Townsville Bulletin office building and large crop of mushrooms in Anzac Memorial Park . Cheers. Boot .
Decoded , Lord Copper took this brilliant report to indicate that North Queensland is under attack from goose-stepping barbarians who are bribing simple tribesmen . In addition , the local newspaper seemed ripe for a takeover . Lord Copper ordered Boot's expense account to be slashed because of the bloody strange mention of extinct dodos showed he was away with the birds, no doubt due to spending up big on champers , gin , the local kickapoo juice called Four X and getting about in the noonday sun with his pith helmet back to front , feeding lots of mad dogs and greedy Black Fronted Finches .
