Saturday, April 20, 2019

DESPERATE COALITION GOING TO WATER IN BIZARRE PLUNGE

CANBERRA : Soon to appear  in  the deep end  of  a  swimming  pool near you  is the  synchronised swimming    duet  team  of  Michaela   Cash  and   Scott  Morrison . This  is  a  desperate attempt to  show that  men and women  get along  swimmingly  like a  tin of  packed  Norwegian  sild  sardines   in  the  Coalition   Canberra   bubble    bloodbath  pool .
 
Argust  Tuft  Scoop
 
 As  not many women get  the chance to swim  against  the  Liberal  Party male  toxic algal bloom , it  was  hard to  find  a  person in  a  skirt  to   take part in another  obvious   Scomo  photo opportunity   stunt . It is well known that Morrison  can   do  an Olympic  swimming champion   imitation , or any other  faux  imitation  for that  matter , even  that  of  a  PM ,  at  the  drop  of  a  hat, or  a body  falling  to  the  party room  floor,oozing blood from  many stab wounds.    
 
 However,  Michaelia  Cash  , seen  here wearing a special striped   Jantzen aquatic  cossie,  who has the  capacity to speak under water at a depth of  40 fathoms , scaring off  WA  white pointer sharks  in the  process,   was  eager   to  become  part  of   the  synchronised  swimming   duo. 

 Their  first performance  will be in  the new  $70million  Aquatic  Centre  in Perth, for which  treasurer   Josh  Freydenberg , wearing   budgie smugglers blessed by a  rabbi,   donated  $20million .  Ms  Cash  is also  famous  in showbiz  circles   for  her  dance  of   the  seven  thinly veiled  whiteboards  on   ballbearings , which rated  higher than  Pauline  Hanson's  dance  with  the Stars and   Stripes  and   the   NRA .