Thursday, October 20, 2016


Exclusive report  and sensational  prediction  by respected  gonzo journalist  Hunter S. Thompson  who  watched  the  third presidential debate   from  atop the Trump Tower  while   also  shooting  loathesome bats   with a  pump   action  shotgun .

 You dudes   Down Under  are  going to see  a  lot of  this bozo Donald  Duck    after he  is nuked   by  the few remaining   sane  voters  in the  US of A .  As  a result of  his  latest  ham-fisted    manhandling  of  Hillary  Clinton  he is going to   be  thrashed  in November.  I can reveal  his secret  plan  B  is to flee to  Australia  and   take  up  several   tax   free  / dodging   propositions .

As soon as I shoot   these  goddam  bats  and  blame  a Fox News outside   telecast van  for  the  extensive dents on  the  hire car  convertible    ,  I will  produce documentary evidence that  will  prove Trump  has  been offered  a  fortune   to appear  in  Australian advertisements  capitalising  on  his   mesmerising  snake  oil  salesman  hand  gestures . 

According  to my drinking buddies on  The Gruen Transfer , the  common erect digit of  Trump's  is ideal for the Coles prices down  , down   campaign , except that  it will  have to  be pointed  south of  the Mexican  border . And his frequent  circular  finger  shape, like  a  malformed  sugary doughnut with rabbit  ears  , could be used in  a revival of the Colgate ring of confidence   campaign which  helped spread the American  Dream  in Australia . 
After   filing this report ,  Mr Thompson was  dragged screaming   from  atop   Trump Tower    by a  heavily  armed  posse   and   placed in a  fashionable   white   back to front  jacket   with  unusual  leather straps. All  the time  he was screaming he  is a paid up member of   the  NRA  ,  Disneyland  and Wally World . Strangely , he   claimed to be  an  advisor to the  gun toting  Australian  government and  demanded  to  have  a  telephone  consultation  with  his new mouthpiece, Attorney-General  George  Brandis .