|Grim Barnaby and beast|
CANBERRA: In a desperate move, the Turnbull Government has hired a sensitive Llama to warn it about frequent dangerous situations which make the regime look like a banana republic . The friendly Llama, nicknamed Ming , is kept in the rustic office of Deputy PM Barnaby Joyce , who has an international reputation for handling dumb animals since he rightly told Johnny Depp and his mutts where to go , in no uncertain terms .
Installation of the trouble detecting Llama in parliament house has electrified the Coalition and added to the duties of the Australian Federal Police and office cleaners , who are demanding dirt money .
Argus Tuft Scoop
In an exclusive interview , wearing the latest retro Barry McKenzie hat, Barnaby said the Llama is regarded as a new lucky mascot by the government which has been going from one snafu to another ever since it stumbled back into power at the election . Now, he said , Malcolm Turnbull's situation is like sitting in an uncomfortable electric chair in Sing Sing's death row , bright and dim sparks from the past and present wanting to throw the lever and zap him with 40,000 volts.
The latest embarrassing stuff up is that nobody seems to know who is the skipper of HMAS Australia-is it Defence Minister Marise Payne, Defence Industry Minister Christopher Pyne or Defence Personnel Minister Dan Tehan ? And just today the Health Minister forgot who she was , got up to answer a Dorothy Dixer question in the House of Representatives , and thanked herself for asking the question ???? Is there a doctor in the House- or a Llama ?
When Barnaby is away attending Bollywood weddings in India with Gina , the Llama will be kept at The Lodge , Canberra, flown to the squatter occupied Turnbull mansion in Sydney for a seaside frolic from time to time .