Wednesday, October 19, 2016


Grim Barnaby and beast
CANBERRA: In a desperate move, the Turnbull Government  has   hired  a  sensitive Llama  to warn it about   frequent   dangerous  situations  which make  the regime look  like a  banana republic .  The friendly Llama, nicknamed Ming , is  kept in the rustic office of Deputy PM  Barnaby Joyce , who  has  an international reputation for handling  dumb  animals  since he rightly told  Johnny  Depp  and his  mutts where to go ,  in no uncertain terms . 
Installation of  the   trouble detecting Llama in parliament house has electrified  the Coalition and added to the duties of   the Australian  Federal Police  and   office  cleaners , who are demanding  dirt  money .   
Argus Tuft  Scoop
In an exclusive interview , wearing the latest  retro  Barry McKenzie hat, Barnaby  said  the  Llama  is  regarded  as  a  new lucky   mascot  by  the government  which has  been going from   one  snafu  to  another ever  since  it stumbled  back into power  at  the  election .  Now,  he said , Malcolm Turnbull's situation is like  sitting  in an uncomfortable electric  chair in  Sing Sing's death row , bright and  dim sparks from  the  past  and  present wanting  to  throw the lever and  zap him with 40,000 volts. 
 The latest embarrassing stuff up  is  that nobody seems to know who is the skipper of HMAS Australia-is it Defence Minister Marise Payne, Defence Industry  Minister  Christopher  Pyne  or   Defence   Personnel  Minister   Dan Tehan ?  And just today  the  Health  Minister  forgot  who she was , got up to answer  a  Dorothy Dixer   question in the House of Representatives  , and   thanked  herself for  asking  the question ???? Is  there a  doctor in  the  House- or a  Llama ?
 When  Barnaby is away attending Bollywood weddings in  India with Gina  , the Llama  will be  kept at  The Lodge , Canberra,  flown  to  the  squatter occupied  Turnbull  mansion in  Sydney  for a  seaside  frolic  from  time  to  time .