The dynamic
Abbott government has devised a brilliant employment scheme
to keep people over 50 on the move and gainfully employed
until they are
70. It has been inspired by the famous Yank , Johnny
Appleseed , who roamed the US of A scattering
apple seeds so
that future
generations would become
hooked on mom and
apple pie , like Liberace , and regularly get
the pip with Capitol
Hill.
All Australians over 50 not
busking , not employed
flipping burgers and not flogging dolls eyes and mothballs on commission for a
Nigerian company
, will be
compulsorily turned into swaggies and told to
travel the wide brown land spreading imitation cowpats
and real dung beetles.
Dung
beetles are necessary , especially north of the Goyder
Line , to make
arid areas seem desirable beef
country to be flogged off to
unsuspecting overseas buyers.
Pictured above is
the first lucky
swaggie, a redundant former veteran Qantas pilot , Hudson Fysh , with a
bag of squirming
dung beetles hanging from his shoulder. Smelly Fysh said that the army of swaggies will also pick up from the roadside all the many discarded bottles of 1959 Grange thrown from stretch limos . When he reaches the age of three score and 10 , the kind government
will reward him with a plastic bag full of recycled green and gold
loincloths ... then tell him to go jump in a billabong
.
