Tuesday, April 1, 2014

DRY KNIGHTS IN WAITING IN YE OLDE CAPITAL TAVERN

ATTENTION PM ABBOTT :  But  for the fact  that these two gents  are cafe  latte quaffers , a   habit  derided  by  a  knot of vitriol drinking  Murdoch  journalists , blowhards , and  most recently  by  a milksop Queensland  politician ,  these  two  outstanding  examples  of  scholarly   Australian  manhood ,  snapped in Canberra , should  be  considered  for  knighthoods .

They  are , on the left  Left , Pete Steedman , a man  who  fiercely opposed conscription  and  Australia’s  involvement  in  the Vietnam War ; influenced  university magazine  design and content , in  the  process  helping   produce  a   generation  of   idealistic  young   people  wanting  to  make  the  world  a  better  place ; during  his  time in the House of Representatives  was  voted  politician  of  the year ; beat off   gangs with a Crocodile Dundee knife and a  gumtree branch  while  broadening his  mind  travelling from India to   Marrakech ;  introduced  Aussie style limp  falling  on  darkened   stairs  during   a   recent   cultural   visit  to  Italy.

The  other highly recommended  candidate  for  the  sword tap  is  Peter  Burleigh , international  architect , South Pacific   beachcomber, graphic illustrator, author, snake charmer,  vacuum  cleaner salesman , propagator of the  English language ,  major  shareholder  in  the  dynamic  Magnautic  Island  Times  and  recently  honoured  with  the   Croix de  Guerre  for   helping  scrape   the    bottoms   of    French  canals with  his  dredge  . A man  of  many talents , stamina and  extreme  patience,  Burleigh  has on many  occasions acted as  Steedman’s carer, as  in  this  secret  visit  to  Canberra .

 It   will   be   seen   that   Steedman is   now   a   vegetarian and   has an  Italian  sundried  tomato  on  his  plate . While he might look  like  an  evil  Queensland  bikie, he   is  Victorian ,  a   cuddly  chap and  a  shining example to the pimply  youth  of   the  nation.       

  DECLARATION  OF  PERSONAL  INTEREST, WARNING  : Cyclops  is a  sloppy  drinker  of  latte  and   after   two   mugs  of  the  stuff  gets  the uncontrollable   urge  to  punch  boofheads   who   mock   latte  drinkers.