ATTENTION
PM ABBOTT : But for the fact
that these two gents are
cafe latte quaffers , a habit derided
by a knot of vitriol drinking Murdoch
journalists , blowhards , and most recently
by a milksop Queensland politician ,
these two outstanding examples of scholarly
Australian manhood , snapped in Canberra , should be considered for knighthoods .
They
are , on the left Left , Pete Steedman , a man who
fiercely opposed conscription and
Australia’s involvement in the
Vietnam War ; influenced university magazine
design and content , in the process helping
produce a generation
of idealistic young people wanting
to make the
world a better
place ; during his time in the House of Representatives was
voted politician of the
year ; beat off gangs with a Crocodile
Dundee knife and a gumtree branch while
broadening his mind travelling from India to Marrakech ;
introduced Aussie style limp falling
on darkened stairs
during a recent cultural visit
to Italy.
The other highly recommended candidate
for the sword tap is Peter Burleigh , international architect , South Pacific beachcomber, graphic illustrator, author,
snake charmer, vacuum cleaner salesman , propagator of the English language , major shareholder in the dynamic
Magnautic Island Times
and recently honoured
with the Croix de
Guerre for helping
scrape the bottoms
of French canals with his dredge . A man of many talents , stamina and extreme patience,
Burleigh has on many occasions acted as Steedman’s carer, as in
this secret visit
to Canberra .
It will be seen
that Steedman is now a
vegetarian and has an Italian sundried
tomato on his plate . While he might look like an evil Queensland bikie,
he is Victorian , a
cuddly chap and a shining example to the pimply youth of the nation.
DECLARATION OF PERSONAL INTEREST, WARNING : Cyclops is a
sloppy drinker of latte and after two mugs of
the stuff
gets the uncontrollable
urge to punch boofheads who mock latte drinkers.