Hockey, Crabb and Lenin in Kitchen Cabinet screen grab.
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CANBERRA : In
a shock report , the dastardly
ABC today revealed
that spooks had bugged the “ boudoir” of now
Federal
Treasurer , Joe Hockey. This stunning revelation has rocked and shocked
the stumbling Abbott
Government and
is
certain
to result in the
ABC having to
rely on chook raffles for future
funding . Spooks had a fit watching
Annabel Crabb’s Kitchen
Cabinet
series in which she was shown
Joe Hockey’s “ boudoir”, with its
Bart Simpson pillow case
and a nearby
wall hanging of Russian
revolutionary leader Lenin ,which started alarm bells
ringing in spookland. One spy observed that Hockey is
built like a Russian bear so could not be regarded as a wee Gremlin from the Kremlin. A
spook
posing as an inconspicuous cleaner
with an eye- patch, wooden leg
, wearing a
mini-skirt and sporting an ill fitting , pre-loved merkin as a wig,
immediately visited the pad
and
inserted hi–tech bugs , disguised as cockroach bombs, throughout the Canberra apartment .
Subsequent recordings picked up numerous sounds
like
junk food and midnight snacks being
eaten underneath the
doona in the goose-feather bed. Bart Simpson's pillow talk taps sounded as if Duff Beer was being drunk, resulting in belching in a hard to decode morse code variation.
Bart's boudoir belching baffles ASIO and Bletchley Park .
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