SCOOP : GUINEA PIG AT CORONATION!

 LONDON :  It can be revealed  that    a   guinea  pig   nearly ran up the leg of  the  Archbishop of Canterbury  during  a vital part of the   coronation   of   King  Charles lll .  Though there was a huge media contingent   in Westminster Abbey  not  one  reporter  picked  up  the fact  that  young Prince  Louis  , son  of the   Prince and Princess  of   Wales , suddenly  disappeared . 

He was   plainly in  view, next to his sister ,Princess Charlotte , in this   LIttle Darwin photograph, but  absent  from  the  following   exclusive   snap.  Why was this so ? 

According to  a  tired and emotional  footman  , young Louis   smuggled his pet  guinea pig, named  Boris Boofhead , into  the cathedral , down the front of  his  trousers. It  popped its  head out  from time to  time  to see what   was causing  all  the noise .

A prominent  , windy ,  old ,  gin-swilling  dame  spotted   the  guinea  pig ,  thought  it  was  an  Anglican   gargoyle , took fright , slowly sank to the  floor , collapsed  and  was given  mouth  to  mouth  by  a  lady- in -waiting.      

Meanwhile, the rat-like pet jumped out , sprinted across to the   throne  and  looked as if it  was  going to  dart in under  the  archbishop's   robes, which would  have  undoubtedly  disrupted   proceedings  as  he  danced  about  with the  sword  trying  to  slay it . 

A boy scout, prepared for such  events , Louis ,  five ,   gave a loud whistle, the guinea pig   ran  back to him and   hopped  into  his  plus fours , held up by an order of the garter .  Then  Louis  quietly slipped  into  the  back of the  organ   and  released   BB.    It is still inside  the  organ -likely to result in the   playing  of  the  lost  chord  and  empire .

 (Spoof, coronation ,pig)