CANBERRA : In stunning shock revelations , award winning political reporter Argus Tuft today revealed Scott Morrison had secretly appointed himself Minister for Silly Walks and ordered God to ordain him the Vicar of Dibley next leap year.
The appointment of ScoMo as Silly Minister, a position much sought after by many highly qualified members of the Coalition , was carried out at Government House during the witching hour , to the accompaniment of Chinese fireworks.
According to Argus Tuft , ScoMo , specially kitted out in silly attire , below , befitting the important ministry , caused the Governor-General to collapse , laughing .
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The only other politician present, he says , was Senator Michaelia Cash who was blindfolded, gagged and had plugs in her ear-holes so that she knew nothing that went on.
More Importantly, she could not speak , so did not disturb the sleep of Black Rod who had been suffering from insomnia for months.
.Ace reporter Tuft also revealed the incredible reason why ScoMo had not attended the opening of the new parliament . With the help of England's Minister for Silly Haircuts, Boris Johnson, ScoMo was in London making plans to be ordained by God the next Vicar of Dibley in another secret ceremony , performed in the Tower of London ,without the Archbishop of Canterbury being informed . .
ScoMo told God that the Vicar of Dibley had lost the capacity to tell fibs to the congregation and the parish committee was a collection of muddle-headed bums,like the National Party . ScoMo promised to wear a royal blue dog collar and a vest with more colours than Jacob's coat of many hues when inducted into the new position .
News of his audacious plan to oust the popular Vicar leaked out yesterday; there was a windy demo by parishioners against the proposed Orstralian usurper.
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