SHOCK HORROR EXCLUSIVE : CHINESE TURN AUSSIE ICON INTO TIPSY BOUNDER

 

During  last  month's cold   snap  in Darwin ,  one of Canberra's   top   political reporters,  Argus Tuft , in town on a secret assignment ,  received a  shock when  he  pulled  a  blanket   up  over  his  head to get  warm  in  a  leading  hotel .

Right before his runny nose  was  the  above made in  China  trade  mark  tag  displaying  an  audacious portrayal  of   an  Australian kangaroo , part  of  our  sober  coat  of  arms , looking  like  that   Pommie   wastrel  ,  Champagne Charlie,  in a  top  hat , holding a  glass of  bubbly . What  is more, the blanket was  not made  from  fine  Australian Merino wool-inferior  polyester.

Argus Tuft said the  French  will  probably  be  upset  , wrongly believing Australia  is using champagne,  one of its  closely  guarded trade   names , to   flog   inferior  blankets.  This   soon after Anthony Albanese and the French leader kissed and made up  , repairing the  damage  caused by  the noisy happy  clapper  nicknamed   " Reject  Plonk Charlie " ScoMo . Penny Wong  is tipped to go the  knuckle , not  rub elbows , with the  Chinese  Foreign Minister the next  time they meet  because of  this Top End  bedroom  outrage which   makes  our   beloved  Skippy  look  like  a  drunk.