I am in a bad way , doctor . Everywhere I look there is a lizard or three . Eek! There is one now !!! Dozing off in front of the idiot box at night , I swear a lizard regularly gallops across the wall to take part in the 1916 lithograph of the annual Easter Monday event run by the Onkaparinga Racing Club in South Australia .
In the morning , half awake , I totter into the kitchen and reach for a glass to wash down essential pills - and there appears to be a black , tiny lizard staring at me from an old bottle dug up in the South Australian copper mining town of Moonta , with a strong Cornish influence in its operation .
As I walk out the back door to sit on the veranda and eat the fibre laden breakfast in a vain bid to achieve regularity , assorted lizards are sighted scurrying about .
Kookaburras are heard noisily greeting the morning and the lizards no doubt twitch as they know Kookas just luv lizards , regard them as tasty Cornish pasties . A large lizard rushes in from the lawn and disappears up a pipe as if to escape any attention from the kookaburras .
On walking up the backyard to check the rain gauge , doctor , I swear blind there was a lizard in the rusting vice .
From the nearby shed , from which a snake was once seen slithering away , strange scurrying noises are heard within . Into view comes another, larger lizard , about to disappear under the shed door .
Another brave lizard comes out and suns itself on a granite rock , no doubt keeping an eye open for kookaburras .
From the remains of what looks like a bombed Fairy Ring , below , another lizard poses before dashing off into the safety of the undergrowth. This explains why fairy dust is not favoured as a source of power generation in bombed out National Party circles .
Stubby tail reveals close encounter with a bird , probably a kookaburra.
