An ageing , infirm member of the Little Darwin team developed a clicking , sore left knee . A medico told him , seeing that he refused pain killers , he would have to limp on and probably have his knee joint replaced sometime in the future , there being a shortage of orthopaedics.
A kind German lady with assorted aching joints, pulled out of storage a fancy knee guard with an array of straps , looking like part of a masochist's kit , and gave it to him . Limping home , he applied the guard to his knee , not sure if the straps were in the right place . For days , he lumbered about with a lumpy looking brown knee , which gave the appearance of a wounded elephant .
The looks he received when he went to the local shopping centre with his bulbous knee to get the morning paper were interpreted as both sympathetic and I hope it is not catching . One day, strapped on with difficulty , the guard resembled one of those crazed squid that gather in South Australian waters to mate.
Slapping the device on for a special trip to and a tour of the Jezzine Barracks in Townsville , with its extensive , fabulous militaria collection, old forts , art gallery , he looked like he was carrying a war wound .
Clambering up the old forts area , his knee clicked like the sound track of Click Go the Shears, he rested under the Australian and American flags at the top , with panoramic views of the city and Magnetic Island .
Two days later , early in the morning , about to strap on the knee guard , he came to the conclusion (slow thinker?) that he may not have been putting it together properly because it looked like one of grandma's Christmas puddings which had gone wrong , parts sticking out at odd angles as usual .
Sure enough , by trial and error , he discovered he had been wearing it incorrectly all the time , the above configuration possibly right . Feeling stupid , it reminded him of the old joke about the young bloke who tried to dodge national service. He was told that if you wore a truss when you went in for a medical examination you were instantly declared unfit for military service . So off he went for his medical wearing such a support .
After the examination , the dodger noticed his report had been marked ME, and asked the doctor if it meant he was medically unfit for service . The reply : " No! Middle East - any bastard who can wear a jockstrap upside down can ride a camel ! "
