BUCKINGHAM PALACE : In a shock announcement , the Duke of Edinburgh , above , today said he is definitely alive and will be sending back to Australia the knighthood that forelock tugging colonial vassal Tony Abbott bestowed upon him in a moment of lunacy. In an exclusive interview with Little Darwin , the Duke said he is too old to clank about the nation in a knight's heavy armour .
He suggested Prime Minister Malcolm Turnbull should wear the armour to protect himself from the slings and arrows of his own serfs in the party room in what is shaping up to resemble the Battle of 1066 and all that.
If Australia did not want the gift wrapped armour personally returned by the Governor-General , the Duke said he would flog it off to Steptoe and Son for some drinking money , the Queen notoriously tight with quids in this area of vital palace expenditure .
Soon after making this stunning statement, Prince Philip , wearing the Aussie armour , made from Chinese steel , not a product of Whyalla , dined with former Australian PM and Akubra hat court jester , John Howard , at The Ritz and came down with gripe , rectified with a hearty swig of alcoholic milk of magnesia .
The jovial Prince said the gripe attack had been caused by the Murdoch paper , The Sun , another bloody awful paper , like the old Daily Express , declaring he had died . Lifting his visor , he had asked Howard during the luncheon in the swish eatery to peer inside and confirm that he was indeed alive and kicking . Howard reportedly told Phil the Greek that Murdoch has another bloody awful paper in Sydney , The Daily Telegraph .
He suggested Prime Minister Malcolm Turnbull should wear the armour to protect himself from the slings and arrows of his own serfs in the party room in what is shaping up to resemble the Battle of 1066 and all that.
If Australia did not want the gift wrapped armour personally returned by the Governor-General , the Duke said he would flog it off to Steptoe and Son for some drinking money , the Queen notoriously tight with quids in this area of vital palace expenditure .
Soon after making this stunning statement, Prince Philip , wearing the Aussie armour , made from Chinese steel , not a product of Whyalla , dined with former Australian PM and Akubra hat court jester , John Howard , at The Ritz and came down with gripe , rectified with a hearty swig of alcoholic milk of magnesia .
The jovial Prince said the gripe attack had been caused by the Murdoch paper , The Sun , another bloody awful paper , like the old Daily Express , declaring he had died . Lifting his visor , he had asked Howard during the luncheon in the swish eatery to peer inside and confirm that he was indeed alive and kicking . Howard reportedly told Phil the Greek that Murdoch has another bloody awful paper in Sydney , The Daily Telegraph .
