BIKINI BLOODBATH
Comedy/Horror, 72
minutes, not rated.
Viewers under 12 years of age who are willing to suspend their critical
senses and their bladder urges may get a few minutes titillation from Bikini Blood Bath. Expect long sequences
of bikini-clad girls dancing in someone’s house; be ready to wait a long time
before you get a glimpse of an unclad mammary – but so many of you settled for
this when the film was released that you encouraged the film makers to go on to
not one but two sequels. In a U-tube review of these movies, the reviewer said
(quote): “Fuck you for making this movie, and fuck you for making two sequels.”
BIKINI BLOODBATH
CARWASH
Comedy/Horror, 71 minutes, not rated.
Subtext:
Jenny is a freshman at Community College. She and her seven gorgeous classmates pay their tuition fees by working at Miss Johnson's Bikini Carwash . During an after work séance they accidentally resurrect the infamous Chef Death . The Chef hunts down the bikini clad girls at Miss Johnson's Year End Party and the side splitting bloodbath continues .
Subtext:
This script is more mature than the
last. Environmentally-sound carwash detergent is used in recognition of today’s pollution
issues.So, what is the appeal of B
movies? They’re fun to pick apart for
clumsy script continuity, execrable acting, plot holes, blatant politically
unsound material, unbelievably cheap effects, and so on. After a while some
films become endearing because of their amateurishness.
Enduring a series of the utterly bad to find that one fantastic turd that has your ribs and jaw hurting by the end, and lends itself to repeat drunken viewings with friends is rewarding. Among thousands of crappy B-films, most of which are instantly forgettable or too painful to endure to the finish are the few rare gems; the point it, is it worth it? I say yes! But beware anything made intentionally stupid and corny. Pretentious self-consciousness makes me puke.
Enduring a series of the utterly bad to find that one fantastic turd that has your ribs and jaw hurting by the end, and lends itself to repeat drunken viewings with friends is rewarding. Among thousands of crappy B-films, most of which are instantly forgettable or too painful to endure to the finish are the few rare gems; the point it, is it worth it? I say yes! But beware anything made intentionally stupid and corny. Pretentious self-consciousness makes me puke.
Comedy/Horror, 71
minutes, not rated.
Jenny and Sharon return after being twice stalked by Chef Death ( the second time by the same resurrected maniac ). While Miss Johnson lies in a coma , the girls are working for her cross-dressing sister , Ms Johnson, at her Bong Shoppe . The Bong Shop and a strictly Christian Delicatessen are in fierce competition for Christmas season customers . Once again Jenny accidentally resurrects the Killer Chef .
The bikini-clad girls put their fear
aside and invite their rivals to a big holiday party. Mysteriously, guests at
the party begin to disappear, leaving everything covered in blood. Who is the
killer? Who will live? Who will be slaughtered? Whose bikini top will come
off? Most important, who will win the epic eggnog wrestling match?
Subtext:
The eggnog scene pays homage to the
fertility/alcoholic/mud wrestling fantasies of most academics. The bikinis
themselves refer to the superficial quality of existential debate in American
society. Get the idea? The ‘B’ Movies are
beginning to subvert the glossy artificiality of Hollywood.
Give them time. As an aid to selecting the latest and best in B-movies on sale
in Cannes, check out this selection of current titles and their taglines;
-
BUNNYMAN: Pretty girls die young
-
THE EVES: Are you ready to be delivered?
-
DEER CROSSING: Keeps your eyes on the road
-
PELT: You were warned!
-
SECOND-STOREY MAN
-
DEDD BROTHERS: Four brothers and a little kidney
-
CRUEL WILL: Your inheritance awaits
See post below
