WASHINGTON: Defence top brass here are fuming over the deal to allow a Chinese company to build a huge, combined dim sim and Fortune Cookie factory next to the American Pine Gap spy base at Alice Springs .
An angry four and a half star general, who often appears on Fox News , baying for Julian Assange's head , exclusively told Little Darwin the factory will be higher than the world's tallest tower in Dubai .
"Right next to Pine Gap !" he screamed in disbelief .""What is going on in the Northern Territory-first handing the Darwin Port over to a Chinese company and now this?"
The general stunned our reporter , wearing a trendy flak jacket and an All The Way With LBJ pin , souvenir of a great moment between two nations when the Tory NSW premier with a love of brown paper bags said to drive over the Aussies demonstrating against the Vietnam war , by revealing that a tap of all Territory communications discovered the government is even going to allow the latest Chinese aircraft carrier,recently in Brisbane, to take part in this year's Henley on Todd Regatta from which it could easily bombard Pine Gap with flour bombs and water cannon .
It has even been suggested that former federal treasurer Joe Hockey could be expelled as the Aussie ambassador because of the American anger , making him the shortest serving ambassador in the history of diplomacy and jobs for the boys.
The irate general revealed the US Defence Department has obtained a sample of the Fortune Cookies and their messages , which include obvious bogus sayings by Confucius , that will be produced in the suspicious steaming dim sim factory printery .
One inscrutable saying , clearly not the words of that wise old Oriental gentleman, nevertheless goes : Confucius say sand in Vaseline jar not as irritating as sand castles in South China Sea .
Jumping up and down , the general said this Fortune Cookie proved the Chinese were taking the piss out of the most powerful nation on earth with the help of the pissant Northern Territory government. The general intimated someone's ass could end up in a sling after this snafu Down Under , which will upset the RSPCA and threaten the very ANZUS Treaty .
