TOWNSVILLE : Lavarack Barracks military base will be moved from here to Charters Towers next week under a special deal struck by the Gillard Government to win the support of the patron saint of Australian bananas, Bob Katter. The troops will be instructed to wage war on the smelly fruit bats which have plagued the Towers community for years. While shooting anything which squawks in the dark, the soldiers will be allowed to plug hairy arsed James Cook Uni students who stray into town and use napalm on any National Party weirdos who arrive in stretch limos . Field Marshal Katter has instructed the grunts that any greengrocer in North Queensland who sells Filipino bananas is to be dragged screaming behind a Brahmin bull or an Abrams tank to the border and turned into one of those tragic buggers , a Mexican.
l
