The gaseous Federal Coalition is the biggest customer for Darwin’s new $49 million helium plant . Instead of taking a daily whiff of laughing gas, the Liberals and the Nationals now get high on lighter than air helium . One Tory has snorted so much hydrogen he resembles the Hindenburg pie in the sky air ship before it crashed and burned.
Pumped up , Barnacle Bill from Bandywallop , has been pushed into a jetstream by his colleagues and circumnavigates the world every 24 hours. With any luck, they hope he will not plummet to earth until after the next Federal election.
Out west, another member overdosed on helium, sprung a leak and rocketed away like a kid’s balloon at a party. He was last sighted by Douglas Mawson streaking through the Aurora Australis and is thought to have crashed into a colony of unfortunate fairy penguins at the height of the mating season, leading to a drastic reduction in the number of fairies available for decorating Christmas trees.
By sticking a helium hose up his cassock, the Mad Monk has been able to give the impression he regularly ascends into Heaven to get instructions from B.A.Santamaria, Sir Robert Menzies and the Opus Dei cheer leader, General Franco.
